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Sex and Zen Extreme Ecstasy: The World’s First 3-D Porn Movie

Have you heard about the 3-D porno? All of China is abuzz with rumors about Hong Kong’s newest movie sensation. Of course it’s totally and 100% completely banned behind the Great Firewall, but on opening weekend in Hong Kong it broke records and grossed more than Avatar.

Guess what I did on my trip to Hong Kong?

Sorry Mom

I’ve done a lot of activities solo in my day. I have no problem eating at a restaurant alone, going to the beach alone, hell, I even moved to a new city without knowing a single soul, but going to watch a pornographic movie, in a theater no less, all by my lonesome has to be the strangest. I wondered if it would look weird; a lone white girl at a porno on a Sunday night.

Still, everyone is talking about this movie in China and nobody can watch it. Tour companies are even creating organized tours to Hong Kong for people to see The Film. Could I really pass up a bragging opportunity like that? No I could not, so off to the theater I went to see Sex and Zen: EXTREME Ecstasy.

Make no mistake: this is a mainstream movie. The theater I went to was also showing Scream 4, Little Red Riding Hood and whatever that terrible looking movie with Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston is. I thought I would feel creepy, but the place was so crowded nobody looked twice at me. The crowd was mostly couples and groups of young people, but some white haired folks too. Oh and by the way, I was CARDED on my way into the theater. Hopefully by the time I start writing Thirty-Something travel I will look at least 18.

Once inside the theater I learned that it was apparently BYO3DG (Bring Your Own 3-D Glasses). Really? Is that a thing now? Everyone else seemed prepared, nonchalantly pulling out their personal 3-D spectacles. Luckily I could buy a pair at concessions for $6 Hong Kong

The nice thing about movie theaters in Asia is you can reserve your seat online. Back in my room I had strategically selected a seat far enough away from other people to not be weird, but on an aisle in case I needed an easy escape. Too my consternation I still ended up sitting next to a couple, and with a weirdly tall guy in front of me obscuring the English subtitles.

But you don’t need subtitles to look at boobs. Giant, three dimensional boobs that flopped towards the audience. The film is an adaptation of a classical Chinese novel, The Carnal Prayer Mat, written in 1657, which totally makes sense because everyone knows that old books are the dirtiest. It follows a young scholar as he abandons his wife and descends into an underworld of sex and violence.

The first half started off well enough- kind of a slapstick comedy with some sex thrown in. The main character bumbles along in his quest to become a sex god, with many jokes centering around his tiny manhood and lack of stamina. At one point he has his penis surgically removed and replaced with that of a donkey. Crude yes, but also kind of hilarious and the audience was roaring with laughter.

By the way, the term “porno” is being used fairly loosely here. I’m no expert, but this film definitely falls on the “soft core” side of the spectrum. While there’s a great deal of female nudity and some very shrill fake orgasms, the movie is definitely devoid of any explicit hard core sex. Considering the cast is made up of mainstream Hong Kong actors (with a few Japanese AV starts thrown in for good measure), the chances of actually seeing two people have real sex were pretty low to start with.

Right when the movie had lulled me in with it’s raunchy humor, the second hour took a dark turn. A REALLY dark turn. Several people who we’ve come to identify with (male and female) are violently raped or murdered. One girl is literally, umm, bonked to death. This isn’t done in a funny way, granted it’s pretty hard to rape someone humorously. During one weird sexual torture scene I almost walked out of the theater. This movie wasn’t fun anymore, it was just… disturbing.

SPOILER ALERT: In the end the now-castrated hero and his long-lost wife (who has been tortured, raped repeatedly then locked inside a chastity belt), do get to live happily ever after. They’ve learned that you don’t need to have sex to be in love. Seriously. This is the moral of the world’s first 3-D erotic film. Basically, it was the world’s longest, most explicit abstinence PSA.

I left the theater feeling pretty bewildered. I’m not really sure what to make of this movie or it’s incredible popularity. On the one hand the novelty of watching people get it on in three dimensions is kind of cool. On the other…. ugh. What should have been novel and harmless fun ended up being pretty unpleasant.

Considering the runaway success of this movie though, I’m pretty sure you can expect to see 3-D pornography popping up at a theater near you. Just remember to bring your own 3-D glasses, I don’t think you’re going to want to touch the used ones.

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32 Responses to Sex and Zen Extreme Ecstasy: The World’s First 3-D Porn Movie

  1. Dave May 3, 2011 at 9:23 AM #

    Wow, this is one of the best movie reviews EVER!

    Watch out Roger Ebert.

    It does sound disturbing, kinda like when I went to see Sin Tetas No Hay Paraiso (Without Tits There is No Paradise) here in Colombia. Based on a popular telenovela, I was just looking to see boobs, but one of the opening scenes was a gang rape. I didn’t see that coming, nor was it in any way fun to see.

    Kudos for stepping out of your comfort zone and doing this on your own. I think there are quite a few guys who’d have trouble with it too!

    • Steph May 5, 2011 at 9:38 AM #

      Haha if travel blogging doesn’t work out maybe I can become a movie reviewer?

  2. Sasha May 3, 2011 at 9:35 AM #

    I’m not surprised it wasn’t at all as pornographic as it was made out, it really is still China I mean they call blow up dolls extremely dirty! I was pretty keen to see this movie but I’ll think I’ll pass if it has a plot twist like that. Really showing torture in the first 3D porno seems a little too arthouse and premature (excuse the pun).

  3. Waegook Tom May 3, 2011 at 10:17 AM #

    Wow 3D porn?!? I wonder if this’ll make it’s way across to Korea?? I have a friend I go with to the movies specifically for the reason that she provides hilarious commentary (her heckling of Eva Mendes during “Last Night” was priceless)…I’m hopeful!

    Like Dave said above, fantastic review! I don’t know whether I’d want to laugh, cry, or reach a hand out at a 3D boob flopping in my direction.

    The end sounds kind of…not fun…though. Should’ve kept it funny like Teeth and the whole rottweiler-penis scene. Ewwww.

    • Steph May 5, 2011 at 9:57 AM #

      If it comes to Korea you should definitely see it- it’s unforgettable!

  4. T-roy May 3, 2011 at 7:56 PM #

    Have to agree with Dave, best movie review ever! You put to shame all those guys who eat dumb stuff just for a blog post and what not. You might have set the bar to high now! 🙂

    So I got to ask, you didn’t see any Pee Wee Herman’s there, having a side show with themselves did ya? lol

  5. Cailin May 3, 2011 at 8:01 PM #

    hahaha hilarious

    I was going to try to compare this to a live sex show that I went to in Amsterdam however no one was hurt or dismembered, I was there with 20 people I knew and probably a hundred strangers and I was slightly drunk…..

    So I can only think that my experience of the actually people having sex compared to your 3-D boob in the face experience was slightly better guessing from your disgust at the end.

    Just be lucky it wasn’t in smell-o-vision…. hahaha

  6. Connie May 3, 2011 at 9:44 PM #

    Yup, everyone in Hong Kong is going nuts over this movie. Glad you got the chance to get in on the experience! And I agree, the 3D factor is a bit gimmicky and completely uneccessary.

  7. Heidi May 4, 2011 at 12:20 AM #

    Whoa, 3D boob experience! Having it on 3D is unnecessary but I guess it worked as a gimmick. And donkey member is plain disturbing,

    China = Great Firewall >> Haha!

    • Steph May 5, 2011 at 10:41 AM #

      Wish I could take credit for that clever phrasing but it has it’s own wikipedia page and everything!

  8. janet May 4, 2011 at 8:32 AM #

    I’ve been to movies by myself and if given a chance, I wouldn’t miss this! haha. What an experience.. I can’t imagine people have their own 3D spectacles.. Really?? And $6 for a pair?? Somehow big boobs and Asian don’t seem to fit together.. The movie looks interesting though, especially since it has the word Zen in it. And yes, this would be more of erotica genre than porno.

    • Steph May 5, 2011 at 10:42 AM #

      $6 Hong Kong though, so that’s like 85 cents US. Still weird though!

  9. Andi of My Beautiful Adventures May 4, 2011 at 4:29 PM #

    OMG 3D porn…wow!!!

  10. Jacinda Green May 5, 2011 at 12:28 AM #

    Um wow? that’s about all I can say. I can’t even imagine what it was like to watch this lol

  11. Gareth Leonard May 5, 2011 at 1:17 AM #

    I’m all for 3D porn but this one sounds like a real boner killer… literally! I hope Universal Studios picks up on this trend and creates an interactive 3D porno-ride one day!
    Great post!

  12. flip May 5, 2011 at 2:31 AM #

    haha love your review about the 3D porn… its so funny and makes me want to watch it…

  13. T Roach May 5, 2011 at 5:04 AM #

    If this 3-D porno thing really takes off, I think filmmakers should agree to leave out the genital close-up shots… slap-slap-slap-slap-slap.. can you imagine that in 3-D on a giant screen?

    • Steph May 5, 2011 at 10:44 AM #

      That’s a good point… maybe soft core is the way to go!

  14. Dustin Main - Skinny Backpacker May 5, 2011 at 5:13 AM #

    Bonked to death. Brilliant! hah

  15. Nomadic Matt May 5, 2011 at 9:03 AM #

    BAHAHAHAHA. That is AMAZING. Bit torrent here I come!

  16. Leslie (Downtown Traveler) May 5, 2011 at 9:14 AM #

    OMG, this movie sounds insane! I love how it’s a fusion of mainstream blockbuster, horror film and softcore romp. Glad you shared your experience with us… I think I’ll skip this on DVD 😉

  17. joshywashington May 6, 2011 at 12:08 PM #

    I am waiting for it to come to IMAX!

    • Steph May 9, 2011 at 10:26 AM #

      holy god.

  18. Juliann May 6, 2011 at 4:25 PM #

    I’m going to China soon. I may have to look into one of the tours to Hong Kong. Another female traveler alone!

    • Steph May 6, 2011 at 8:52 PM #

      Very cool- although you definitely don’t need a tour to visit Hong Kong! It’s much. much easier than travelling in mainland China.

  19. Gray May 6, 2011 at 10:51 PM #

    You are one brave lady, Stephanie. I’ve done many things solo in my life but I wouldn’t have had the guts to go to this kind of movie by myself. And now that I know more about what is in it, I think I’ll pass entirely. Great review, though.

  20. Hilary @ Cupcake Avenger May 8, 2011 at 2:11 PM #

    Possibly the best blog post I have ever read. Thanks for taking one for the team 🙂

    • Steph May 9, 2011 at 10:22 AM #

      High praise! Thank you 🙂

  21. Cara / All About Cabo May 18, 2011 at 10:56 AM #

    Oh my! Thanks for the entertaining post. 3d porn seems like a bit much, especially if it turned violent. 🙁 Probably an experience you’ll never forget. haha

  22. Ally November 17, 2012 at 2:42 AM #

    hahahaha a little bit different to your average attraction

  23. Nick - Goats On The Road February 9, 2013 at 4:58 AM #

    Wow, that sounds disturbing. The thought of 3D porn grossing more than Avatar is shocking. I probably would have been intrigued enough by the title and buzz to go and see it, but after reading this I think i’ll pass. It’s not worth the trip down to Hong Kong i guess!

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