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Bravery is Irrelevant

“You are so brave.”

If I had a dollar for every time someone has said this to me, I could probably stop writing top ten lists and relax for the rest of my life. I’ve heard it from high school classmates, distant relatives, random people in bars and more. Basically, I’ve heard it from all kinds of random people who are only acquainted with the bare bones version of my life as a traveler and freelancer.

You can hashtag this #TravelBloggerProblems if you like, but I think there’s something not quite right in there. There is something there worth talking about.

The reason I hate the bravery trope is simple. It implies that I have some magic personality trait other people don’t. That I can travel because I possess an innate courage which makes it easier for me. That you shouldn’t even bother trying. I have plenty of other things that make me privileged, but excess courage isn’t one of them.

Not brave. Dumb.

Because you guys, I am not a brave person. Refugees fleeing Syria are brave. Malala Yousafzai is brave. I’m just a girl that can’t sit still long enough to work an office job.

More than that: I am not a bold or daring person at all. I’m scared of answering the phone. I hate confrontation. Every single time I head off on a trip by myself I am totally petrified. Even after all this time.

It’s not about being brave, it’s about facing down your fear and doing the thing anyways.

I was reminded of this recently when I stumbled across this picture, taking on the first day of my Round the World Trip back in 2010:

Credit to my Dad for snapping this one

Looking at this picture I’m struck by two things:

  1. I had WAY too much stuff.
  2. I was scared out of my mind.

Seriously, I’m not sure I’ve ever been as terrified in my life as I was boarding that flight to Japan. I had a one way ticket, an ambiguous itinerary and no idea what was in store for me. The next year was a complete blank slate. It took everything I had just to put one foot in front of the other and get through the airport.

All I really wanted right then was to go home and hide under my covers. I didn’t though, and I’m so grateful to my past self for pushing through it.. If I had I probably wouldn’t be where I am right now, I wouldn’t even be WHO I am right now.

2 months into my RTW and happy as a clam

I’m not telling you this because I need a pat on the back, but hopefully as a little bit of motivation. If I did this, you can too.

Bravery is a non-factor when it comes to travel. It’s not something you’re born with, it’s something you cultivate (or maybe learn to live without).

It’s about courage: facing those fears head on. It’s about figuring out what you want in life and then figuring out how to make it happen. It’s about taking the advantages you have and pushing yourself harder than you thought you could.

Then you too can look on, bemused, when people call you brave.

Oh hey, what picture is my Dad holding in his Father of the Bride toast?

11 Responses to Bravery is Irrelevant

  1. Phoebe September 29, 2015 at 8:05 PM #

    I love this post and I can relate. I’m far from brave but do like hearing it every once in a while.

  2. Joanne September 29, 2015 at 11:50 PM #

    Love this!

  3. Amélie @ mostlyamelie.com September 30, 2015 at 2:51 AM #

    Haha! I totally relate to this! I travel by bicycle and people keep telling me I am a brave girl. I think it’s just people’s way to say they’re lazy 😉

  4. Steph September 30, 2015 at 4:40 AM #

    Agree! I’m total chicken shit but traveling makes you are a braver, more confident and experienced person.

  5. HedgeFund Girl September 30, 2015 at 10:08 AM #

    I totally agree! I am not brave, I also hate confrontation and I don’t love answering the phone either but I do love to travel! It doesn’t mean nerves don’t hit when I board a plane to some place new but it’s all part of the excitement and should be taken on the chin as the experience will be well worth the short lived fear!

  6. PhilaTravelGirl (Suzanne) September 30, 2015 at 9:46 PM #

    It’s a toss up between “you’re so brave to travel solo” and “where is your husband” when I travel and agree that brave is reserved for a whole different group of people. I think that for most people it’s brave because they themselves can’t do it it scares them. Kudos for a great post

  7. Melissa September 30, 2015 at 11:27 PM #

    I know exactly what you mean. I’ve had family and friends toss the ‘brave’ comment before but I really don’t think that I’m doing anything that they aren’t capable of doing. It’s all about acknowledging the fear and doing the damn thing anyway.

  8. Amanda Kendle October 1, 2015 at 11:08 PM #

    Totally agree!! I think people say “you’re brave” as an excuse for themselves not to try it.

  9. Rabi Raj Poudel October 8, 2015 at 2:42 AM #

    Totally agree…Thank u very for this post.

  10. Emily October 11, 2015 at 6:42 AM #

    Amen to that! It drives me absolutely crazy when people tell me (quite often) how ‘brave’ I am. No I’m not brave. I’m constant scared and apprehensive. But I do it anyway. Thanks for sharing!

  11. Izy Berry October 13, 2015 at 5:24 PM #

    i love this post it inspired me a lot !! if you can do it i can do it

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