Female Solo Travel is NOT the Problem
Posted on 06. Feb, 2013 by Steph in Inspiration, Philosophy
I wasn’t going to write this article because once I get started it’s hard for me to stop, and suddenly I have pages and pages of an angryfeminist travel manifesto. Which is not what I’m trying to do today, so I will restrain myself and just offer some opinions on what’s going on in the world today.
Lots of people are talking about the 33 year old American woman, Sarai Sierra, who was found murdered in Istanbul last week. It’s a very sad situation that’s currently being investigated by both the local authorities and the FBI. At this point it’s impossible to know what happened and why.
Perhaps because there are so few details, the media has zeroed in on the idea of a pretty woman traveling in a foreign country alone. So you see articles telling us women’s solo travel is under scrutiny that contain quotes like “A woman has no business traveling alone,” and “No way I would even let my beautiful wife out the door to travel to any country alone.”
Pause a moment while I try not to rage smash my computer.
I find this infuriating not just because there are human beings who actually think that way in 2013 (I mean, thank god I’m not that guy’s wife- am I right ladies?), but because it’s all totally misdirected. There are a lot of problems evident here, but ladies wandering around unsupervised isn’t one of them.
Xenophobia is the Problem
I get asked about safety for women travelers a lot, and it’s not surprising. Movies like Taken (if you don’t know why Taken is an absolutely ridiculous, impossible scenario, I don’t even have time to start to explain it to you), and the news media do a pretty good job of convincing us the world is a really scary place, particularly for women.
The thing is: the world isn’t a scary place. Time and time again, in places like Colombia, China and Bosnia, I’ve found that the hype about traveling abroad is far scarier than the act of actually doing it. If you have a good head on your shoulders, the world is a pretty safe place. There is nothing inherently dangerous about being outside the United States- something we often seem to forget. Because uh… women are raped and murdered here too- a LOT of them. Washington DC has a higher murder rate than Bogota, but nobody seems worried about me wandering around by myself here.
All alone in Cambodia
If this poor woman had been murdered in Chicago or New York City we probably would never have heard about it, because it doesn’t play on this fear of the unknown.
Double Standards Are the Problem
Who do you think are more likely to be murdered abroad, male travelers or female travelers? I can’t find a statistic, but I’ve asked a few travelers and the consensus seems to be that men are more likely to be killed. After all, men are far more likely than women to be the victims of homicide in general, and men are more prone to getting into fights or other unsafe situations (women are more used to being cautious while traveling.)
So why is nobody cautioning men on the dangers of traveling abroad, or alone? Why was that article above questioning female solo travel and not just solo travel in general?
Not that I’m not saying solo travel is unsafe- I think it can be perfectly safe as long as you are aware and don’t act dumb. And I don’t think the experiences of traveling alone for men and women are identical. I just think it’s incredibly unfair that only women get questioned for doing it.
Violence Against Women is the Problem
But the worst part of all, this debate about solo travel is a distraction from the real issue: a woman was murdered. Why was she murdered? Not just her, what about the four other Turkish women who were killed that same weekend?
When terrible things happen to seemingly innocent people, our minds do a funny thing. We don’t want to believe these things can happen to us, so we immediately try to figure out what that person did wrong. Were they walking alone late at night? Dressed provocatively? Traveling alone in a foreign country? Anything to convince ourselves that this horrid thing was their fault, and couldn’t happen to us.
Sierra may have been a woman traveling alone. But travel isn’t what killer her: a person did it. In the case of the other four women who were murdered: their husbands and boyfriends did it.
The fact is that more women are beaten, raped and killed in their own homes than traveling anywhere on earth, “According to the United Nations, men are more likely to be murdered in a public place, while women are more likely to be killed at home.”
So I take it back, sometimes the world IS a scary place. We do have a problem, but it has nothing whatsoever to do with travel.
What do you think?
133 Responses to “Female Solo Travel is NOT the Problem”
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February 6, 2013
[...] Female Solo Travel is NOT the Problem [...]
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February 6, 2013
[...] after recent death of a solo female traveler in Turkey, please see Stephanie’s post “solo female travel is not the problem“. I agree with her thoughts and have been surprised and disheartened by the comments about [...]
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February 6, 2013
[...] have come out to defend solo travel (here and here) but I haven’t heard anyone from the travel community say the obvious thing: the commenters [...]
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February 7, 2013
[...] have come out to urge solo transport (here and here) though we haven’t listened anyone from a transport village contend a apparent thing: a [...]
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February 7, 2013
[...] program is with a volunteer company I am, effectively, going by myself – like so many solo female travellers out there, all of whom have faced prejudice and difficulty while [...]
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February 7, 2013
[...] Stephanie from Twentysomething Travel – “Female solo travel is not the problem.” [...]
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February 7, 2013
[...] issue, and for that reason I don’t want to cover old ground. For their perspectives, see Twenty-Something Travel, Katie Going Global, Almost Fearless, A Dangerous Business, C’est [...]
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February 7, 2013
[...] herself as a solo female traveller, the solo female travelsphere exploded with tweets and fabulous blog posts about how travelling as a solo female is SAFE. It’s a topic that has enraged and irked. [...]
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February 7, 2013
[...] Jodi Ettenberg (Legal Nomads) and Stephanie Yoder (Twenty-Something Travel) posted about the fallacy in the argument that solo travel was to blame [...]
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February 7, 2013
[...] Solo Female Travel is NOT the Problem [...]
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February 7, 2013
[...] Female solo travel is NOT the problem, Steph (Twenty-something [...]
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February 7, 2013
[...] http://twenty-somethingtravel.com/2013/02/female-solo-travel-is-not-the-problem/ [...]
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February 8, 2013
[...] Female Solo Travel is NOT the Problem by Stephanie at Twenty-Something Travel, who points out that Washington, DC, where she’s from, actually has a higher murder rate than Bogota, Colombia. [...]
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February 8, 2013
[...] Female Solo Travel is NOT the Problem (A response to the American woman killed in Turkey in January, 2013) [...]
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February 8, 2013
[...] “Female Solo Travel is NOT the Problem” at Twenty-Something Travel [...]
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February 8, 2013
[...] came mostly from self-doubt, a fear of things “foreign” (read Twenty-Something Travel here) and the lack of confidence I occasionally have as a solo traveler. The largest danger was my own [...]
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February 9, 2013
[...] travel alone, whether it is dangerous to travel alone, and what countries women should avoid? Like this great post says, the problem is not women travelling alone and whether it is safe or [...]
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February 9, 2013
[...] her but won’t happen to me (or my daughter, sister, etc.)”. It is also, as Stephanie Yoder (Female Solo Travel is Not the Problem) and Jodi Ettenberg (Revisiting the Solo Female Travel Experience) have pointed out, a convenient [...]
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February 11, 2013
[...] than I do] have already weighed in on this issue,[see the post here , here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here,] but I am inclined to go with this viewpoint. It is the violence directed at [...]
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February 12, 2013
[...] Twenty-Something TravelSolo Female Travel is NOT the Problem [...]
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February 13, 2013
[...] homicide (though of course you don’t see Men’s Solo Travel under attack). As Stephanie from Twenties-Something Travel puts it, Violence Against Women is the problem. Sarai traveling alone to Istanbul did NOT [...]
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February 13, 2013
[...] own in Istanbul. Many articles have been articulately written by women bloggers about the topics of solo female travel, the general problem with violence against women worldwide, overall safety for tourists abroad, and [...]
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February 13, 2013
[...] Other excellent perspectives: Stephanie of Twenty-Something Travel: Solo Female Travel is NOT the Problem [...]
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February 13, 2013
[...] Solo Female Travel is NOT the Problem [...]
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February 22, 2013
[...] out against these biases, wanting to prove that solo female travel is not the problem. They wrote post after post after post after post about why people have the wrong attitude about solo travel. They [...]
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February 27, 2013
[...] Steph from 20Something Travel reckons that solo travel is not the problem (and does a pretty good job at reining in her rage) in Female Solo Travel is NOT the Problem. [...]
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February 27, 2013
[...] Steph from 20Something Travel reckons that solo travel is not the problem (and does a pretty good job at reining in her rage) in Female Solo Travel is NOT the Problem. [...]
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February 28, 2013
[...] Female Solo Travel is NOT the Problem by Stephanie of Twenty-Something Travel [...]
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March 29, 2013
[...] herself as a solo female traveller, the solo female travelsphere exploded with tweets and fabulous blog posts about how travelling as a solo female is SAFE. It’s a topic that has enraged and irked. [...]
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April 12, 2013
[...] murder? Would she have survived had her (female) friend been able to join on the trip as planned? Blogs went berserk: What were the implications of Sierra’s death for other female travelers, especially solo [...]
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May 10, 2013
[...] editor and badass human, Bridie Marie, points out some excellent perspectives on solo-female travel here, here, and [...]
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Dan Thompson
06. Feb, 2013
TRUTH!!
Dan
Dan Thompson recently posted..POTW: Stay a Little Longer
Monica
06. Feb, 2013
I completely agree. As a woman who’s travelled by herself and plans to do so again, I have to say, it isn’t anymore unsafe than being at home (unless the place you’re visiting is disproportionally more unsafe than where you live)… but then you know that and you act accordingly. Like you said, if you’re being smart and paying attention. There’s no reason (under normal circumstances) that it is unsafe for an individual (female or not) to travel alone.
Monica recently posted..writing (& posting), even if it isn’t ‘just right’
Cole @ FourJandals.com
06. Feb, 2013
Well said! It is the people that have never travelled before that bring these ridiculous debates up in the first place. Broaden your minds people!
Cole @ FourJandals.com recently posted..Favourite Photos on Instagram (Edition i)
Matthew Karsten
06. Feb, 2013
I’m so sick of hearing this sad story linked with solo-female travel.
On another note, absolutely love the DC vs. Bogota statistic. Couch potatoes need to wake up and get outside their borders and see what the reality on the ground is like. You’ll be very surprised how safe & friendly the world is.
Matthew Karsten recently posted..Habitat 67 [PHOTO]
Duncan
06. Feb, 2013
A lot of good points here! In general I believe human psychology asks us to find a reason why something bad happens to someone good… ie. they must have made a mistake, or done something stupid! We want to think “that couldn’t happen to me because of X Y and Z…”
In this instance people (specifically other American women) want to feel they would never get murdered randomly on the street because they would never travel to Istanbul on their own… they find what’s different in their situation and this girl’s situation and then hope it’s that difference which is keeping them safe!
…but it’s not of course. It’s just luck, or lack of it, most of the time.
Duncan recently posted..Twenty Five Years ’til Waterworld
Steph
06. Feb, 2013
i think it’s not just the women who are looking for the excuse either. I’ve seen a lot of quotes coming from men discouraging female travel as well. It’s just an easier explanation than the hard truth.
Amanda Halm
06. Feb, 2013
I agree with you. It’s not the women travelers’ faults if something happens, it’s always the criminal. It’s the same old blaming the victim. And yes, the US isn’t so much safer than other countries.
That said, personally I have a good head on my shoulders and I still find the world scary for women. This isn’t Xenophobia, because I worry about it everywhere – worry about the day someone crawls through my window, worry about being harassed, etc. Worry about walking home alone. This comes from being in scary situations, not a belief that women can’t or shouldn’t be by themselves. I thought about how cool it would be to drive across country, and then instantly began to worry about my safety and how I would do it. However, I don’t EVER judge victims of crimes. Where were they? etc. It makes me angry that they’re focused on her being a “pretty woman” alone. Not-attractive women are also victims of crimes. The whole thing is bs.
Great post!! I completely agree with you.
Amanda Halm recently posted..Bill Murray’s Face Appears in Ancient Art (and other news)
ehalvey
06. Feb, 2013
Yes! It’s so idiotic to say a pretty woman shouldn’t be alone, like less attractive women aren’t the victims of crimes or even exist.
Those comments in the original story make me want to slap someone. I didn’t have a single issue in Dublin by myself, and even though I wasn’t traveling alone in Istanbul, it felt very safe. I’m more likely to get attacked in several parts of Boston if I’m not aware of my surroundings. But no one says “don’t go to Allston”.
The xenophobia and sexism is so frustrating and infuriating. If she had been a woman of color in say, Chicago, there’d be almost no coverage. It’s the added “privilege” of being white and pretty that makes the news cover it, like Natalie Holloway.
Okay, stopping now before I break my laptop.
ehalvey recently posted..Blood Orange Syrup: Perfect for Cocktails
Caitlyn
06. Feb, 2013
This is music to my ears. You have so eloquently put that this is a mixture of xenophobia and ignorance, as well as a fair dash of outdated paternalism. It’s a way of getting us distracted from the real problem – violence against women in the home. Thanks for a really good read.
Caitlyn recently posted..Chanelling my inner Lara Croft at Ayutthaya
Terry Suero
06. Feb, 2013
Well said and explained… Travel is therapeutic regardless if gender or age… and true as it is that there are some common sense precautions to avoid acting dumbly – but these do not vary as much from what we would do in our home countries…
Sarah Duncan
06. Feb, 2013
“I’ve found that the hype about traveling abroad is far scarier than the act of actually doing it.” You’re absolutely right and I often think it’s safer travelling solo as a woman than it would be as a man. (http://seecolombia.travel/blog/2013/01/travel-colombia-why-women-should-travel-alone/)
If you’re aware of your surroundings and know how to avoid trouble (regardless of what country you’re in), who’s to say being a solo woman traveller is really any different from just a single woman in their home town?
Thanks for your insight, always an interesting read.
Jennifer
06. Feb, 2013
Well said!
First of all, whoever said “No way I would even let my beautiful wife out the door to travel to any country alone.” should be smacked. I’ve personally heard statements just like this about my traveling from ignorant men and women alike. I am my own person and make my own decisions.
Second, this is a very sad story. But as you said, had this happened in Chicago or NYC, we probably never would have heard a peep about it. Afterall, people are murdered in the US all the time.
This was just as likely to happen going to the grocery store or to work as it was traveling. There are bad people in the world and sometimes bad stuff just happens. Not traveling is NOT the answer nor the problem.
Whew! I guess I had opinions too.
Jennifer recently posted..Wine Wednesday: Cantina Rauscedo
Rob
06. Feb, 2013
I’m fascinated that people think that there is “A PROBLEM”. And somehow associate it with solo female travelers.
I’m much more reluctant to travel in NYC than Istanbul as a solo male traveler, and I can’t imagine that gender influences that too much.
*LIFE* is dangerous. You need to be aware all the time, no matter where you are.
Jeff @ Go Travelzing
06. Feb, 2013
I think it is amazing (not really) how the media has blown this story up. It is terrible that she was killed but that is not a reason to say that women should not travel solo. Bad things can happen anywhere. There is no place that is perfectly safe. As long as travelers pay attention to their surrounds and what they are doing then the likelihood of something bad happening is slim.
Jeff @ Go Travelzing recently posted..The Palau de la Música Catalana in Barcelona
linda
06. Feb, 2013
I have interviewed travel safety experts that provide intel to huge corporations on the safety of executives traveling and they say that is not really a “are men safer than women” or vice versa, but it is about how safe is the region as a whole and how smart is the travel. Have an unsafe region and/or a traveler without common sense, well there might be problems. Have a safe region with a smart traveler – the problems diminish exponentially, but of course there will always be tragic situations regardless of area safety and/or preparedness.
Personally I think there is a huge case to be made for solo women travelers being safer than most travelers. I am almost 6 feet tall, have blonde hair and fair skin – I stick out in many places I travel and I can feel myself being watched a lot. I don’t look at it as a threat – I look at it as if I have lots of people watching out for me. For the most part I think a lot of countries have zero idea of what to do with a single female traveler and they just kind of steer clear and I think on the whole the vast, vast, vast majority of the world just wants to go about their business, get their daily things done, perhaps interact with people they find interesting and call it a day.
Great post!
linda recently posted..The 7 Best Day Trips from Barcelona
Karin
06. Feb, 2013
Thanks for this message. I usually travel by myself and everything goes fine, if, like you said, I have a good head on my shoulders. Last year, I managed to prance around Bogota and Quito (although I did go there to see my friends, but I was usually by myself in the daytime) and everything went fine. Come to think of it, I have felt more unsafe in some parts of the cities in which I lived (Toronto, Vancouver, London) than the ones I travelled to.
Karin recently posted..Past year’s travels and the look ahead
Pointsandtravel
06. Feb, 2013
It’s like trying to blame guns for a death instead of the person who pulled the trigger. There will always be crazies in this world that murder. Big media is doing what it does best! And I will continue to travel solo!
Pointsandtravel recently posted..Basilica Cistern of Istanbul, Turkey
Michelle
06. Feb, 2013
I remember when those three backpackers were in prison in Iran and the comments had nothing to do with the two men of the group, they all centered on the one female. All the comments were along the lines of: “What WOMAN in her right mind would want to travel to Iran?”
I’m sorry, but what about her male companions. If we live in such a sexist society, shouldn’t we be blasting the men that *obviously* brain washed this poor, innocent doe to travel with them to Iran by force.
Why cant women want adventure independent from a man’s protection? And why can we as a society not accept that a tragedy is a tragedy and leave it at that.
Michelle recently posted..[Former] Queen of the Veggie Haters
Laryssa
06. Feb, 2013
GREAT post. I’ll never forget when I was planning my first big trip abroad alone – to Australia, a place FAR safer than the US – an older lady I work with told me I was going to be kidnapped.
I think people who make these comments are in need of justification for taking the safe road. It’s much easier to criticize others than to come to grips with our own shortcomings.
Laryssa recently posted..Sunshine from Around the World (in photos)
Jessie
06. Feb, 2013
Well written rebuttal. I especially like when you say “it doesn’t play on this fear of the unknown”. Agreed.
Jessie recently posted..A Short Lesson in Malagasy with Two Bored PCVs
Adam @ PergiDulu
06. Feb, 2013
I don’t even think you need a sensible head on your shoulders to stay safe. I don’t even think it’s about staying safe. There aren’t people lining to do harm to travellers as they wander the globe which I guess is probably the perception of people who have never left their country.
We travel. Some people die. There’s no link between the two.
Megan
06. Feb, 2013
A British male backpacker was killed in Thailand on New Year’s Eve while partying with his mates. I don’t remember the media calling for young 20-something guys to stop travelling to Asia with their friends.
The world is an unsafe place no matter who or where you are – although of course it’s worse in some areas than others. There is just as much of a risk of me getting injured or killed in a car accident in Australia than there is of something happening while I’m travelling around the world by myself.
Great post – hopefully the messages gets through to some women who may be listening to the unjustified “don’t travel alone” messages.
Megan recently posted..My perfect day in London
Laura Zera
06. Feb, 2013
Hallelujah, sister! Well said.
Laura Zera recently posted..Travel: How to Un-plan Your Trip
Christina
06. Feb, 2013
Well written post! I’ll be sure to pass this along to family members and friends that express doubts whenever I’m traveling alone.
Gareth
06. Feb, 2013
I disagree… I am a male who has travelled most of the world for the past 6 years, including most of asia. Unforunately, I have encounted problems from police corruption to other travellers in night clubs after a few too many local beers.
The problem is men, and unfortunately they try take advantage of girls especially if they are alone. I think women should definately travel but preferably in groups of friends or with a male companion… Just my opinion and experience.
I am from South Africa and definately dont recommend a girl to travel here by herself but i do recommend to travel here.
Steph
06. Feb, 2013
Unfortunately men take advantage of women everywhere in the world. Again, it’s not a travel problem, it’s a culture of violence problem. As a woman, I’m just as likely to be assaulted in my own hometown.
I’ve never been to South Africa but I’ve met several women who’ve traveled there alone without problem.
Allie / 6000 Miles to Home
06. Feb, 2013
I totally agree – I hate when I hear colleagues or friends talking about why the idea of traveling makes them so nervous and uncomfortable. I can’t even tell you how many times the movie Brokedown Palace comes up! Great article.
Allie / 6000 Miles to Home recently posted..Italy Flashback: Amalfi Part I
Christina @ Packed Suitcase
06. Feb, 2013
Well said! As a woman who travels solo more often than in groups, I really resonate with the points that you’ve made.
Christina @ Packed Suitcase recently posted..Testing my Geography Knowledge…
Jenny
06. Feb, 2013
I remember when the movie ‘Taken’ first came out and Liam Neeson was doing an interview and mentioned parents were coming up to him and saying something to the context of: “I think you did so great in the movie thanks for doing now I know better and will NEVER let my daughter travel on her own. Then Neeson responded, “No, no don’t do that. Its very important for people to travel and be exposed to other cultures.” And was like YES so glad he said that, but what else can one expect from a sophisticated guy like him anyway.
Amanda
06. Feb, 2013
AMEN. You know I agree with you 100%.
I’m glad you brought up the xenophobia bit, too. I didn’t mention it in my own post on the subject, but that plays into this instance a lot, too. I can’t tell you how angry I was getting reading comments from people condemning the entire country of Turkey.
It was especially hit home from me last night, when I was talking to one of my good friends here in Ohio, who is an exchange student — from Istanbul. It actually really pissed me off to listen to him describe some of the incredibly ignorant things people have been asking him this week because of this story. People baffle me.
Amanda recently posted..Dear Dad: Please Don’t Worry (A Treatise on Solo Female Travel)
Kaylin
06. Feb, 2013
Yes! I couldn’t believe how many people were talking about Turkey in those articles as if it were Iran or Afghanistan in terms of female rights and safety, and the Taliban were supposedly lurking around every corner. Turkey is a secular democracy! Yes, many of the people are Muslim, but not all, and anyway, it’s not exactly like all Muslims want to kill Americans (saying that is like equating the Westboro Church with all Americans or Christians).
Also, I’ve never been to Turkey but I travel by myself about 95% of the time and have been to countries in Europe and Asia alone. Out of all the places I’ve been, I’ve felt more safe traveling in all of them than I would walking around a big city in the US like Chicago or Atlanta, at night.
Kaylin recently posted..Day 33: Thinking about RTW trips
MaryAnne
06. Feb, 2013
I actually lived and traveled in Turkey for 6 years as a solo female and encountered fewer problems there (and much more care, kindness, hospitality) than back in Canada. I lived in Istanbul for 4 of those years and would say I felt safer there than in many parts of Vancouver, especially at night.
MaryAnne recently posted..Notes on Getting the Hell Out of Dodge: Oh, Hey, Bali! Nice to See You Again!
Rease
06. Feb, 2013
I lived in Buenos Aires for almost 2 years all by myself. People constantly scolded me for walking around alone. You know what NOTHING EVER HAPPENED. You are so right about people wanting to believe that the victims did something wrong. Travel, solo or not, has nothing to do with this issue.
Rease recently posted..Sledding on Art Hill
chinamatt
06. Feb, 2013
Great post. This needed to be said. It’s not about female solo travel at all–and I know some women who are more adventurous in their solo travels than I am. Solo travel in general can be risky if you’re not careful. There’s just as much danger walking around any city in the world. But no one should give up on the enjoyment of traveling the world.
chinamatt recently posted..The Icy Golden Circle
Tawny of Captain and Clark
06. Feb, 2013
I knew I could count on you to write something on the subject! I don’t travel alone as often as I would like, but there are times when I actually feel safer being by myself.
“I’ve found that the hype about traveling abroad is far scarier than the act of actually doing it.” I couldn’t agree with you more! I can’t tell you the horrible things we hear from people when we tell them about our future trips to countries considered “dangerous” by the mainstream media. If we listened to all of them I’m sure we’d never leave the house.
Tawny of Captain and Clark recently posted..Pickpocket Proof Pants (Giveaway!)
Ali
06. Feb, 2013
Thank you so much for writing this. Solo travel is an amazing thing, for females or males. It irritates the cr*p out of me that so much fear is instilled into people, especially women, about traveling overseas or traveling alone. I can’t remember ever feeling unsafe while traveling solo, only that I met amazing people and had amazing experiences along the way. Who knows why this women was killed, we might never know, but it does NOT mean women are crazy to travel solo. That article you referred to with the comments from men saying they’d never let their wife travel by herself made me so angry. Some people’s thinking is still so backwards, it baffles me. You’re right, travel is not the problem.
Ali recently posted..How to Pick Carry-on Only Luggage
Jessica
06. Feb, 2013
Thank you so much for writing this post! As a woman who has traveled alone before (with plans to do so again in the future), I really see no inherent danger in doing solo trips just because I am a female. It is advisable for both men and woman to be smart and cautious both on the road and at home and it is just so UNTRUE that women traveling alone is always unsafe or a bad idea. Some of my favorite trips have been trips that I have taken by myself and I would never trade these experiences for anything because I learned so much about myself and what I want to get out of traveling.
Anne
06. Feb, 2013
Thank you for saying what has been going through my head that I have been unable to put into words!
The way I see it we (as females, or males, wanting to travel) have two choices: we can live in fear based on select stories filtered to us by the media, or we can find ways to minimize the risks of what we fear and go see for ourselves.
It’s so true that the larger issue here is violence toward women in general. Before I get on my feminist soapbox, I just want to thank you for putting this out there and (hopefully) helping people to think about this in a larger context.
- (An appreciative reader.)
Anne recently posted..Bungy: The Jump of My Life I Almost Didn’t Take
Tammy
06. Feb, 2013
I am standing up and applauding this post here at my desk. Awesome points. All of it.
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Rachel
06. Feb, 2013
Thank You. Victim-blaming is not the answer. I’ve travelled solo throughout western Europe and North America and I have no plans to stop. In fact I would love to visit other parts of the world on my own! And while there are places I might not want to visit on my own for personal reasons, I would never dream of telling another person they shouldn’t go there. I’ve had amazing experiences and not-so-good ones both at home and abroad. Things can happen anywhere.
Rachel recently posted..Eating my way through Cambridge
Jaime
06. Feb, 2013
Well said. I know I’m not a women, but am happy y’all are all talking about it because this is just outrageous. It just reminds me how much I hate the media, because they turn everything into making sure people continue to live in fear of the unknown when in reality the unknown is much safer than home.
Jaime recently posted..The Killing Fields in photos
Ashleigh
06. Feb, 2013
Why must we blame the victim? It is a discussion that has been had a lot recently in Australia, after a high profile murder and far too many people saying the victim “shouldn’t have walked home alone from the pub late at night”. The other classic example is girls who were “asking for it” because of tight clothing, short skirts and low cut tops.
They, like this lady, DID NOT DO ANYTHING WRONG! It is perfectly reasonable to expect a safe passage home, or to be able to travel the world, and think you are going to get back in one piece.
Don’t hate the victim, hate the sickos that rape, that torture, that kill, that prey, all for their own twisted benefit
Steph
06. Feb, 2013
Agreed. Nobody deserves to be attacked for simply living their life.
Pınar
06. Feb, 2013
I’m fromTurkey and sincerly thank you. i belive that your opinions are exactly true.Because media is doing everything bigger with lying but it isn’t true.according to the records She was chatting with a turk man and then met and and then police men found her body.So she wanted,did everyting own her own but world wide or social media discredit everyting.
Katie
06. Feb, 2013
Well said. I made the mistake of reading through all 800+ comments on the NBC News article about it and worked myself into quite a furor over the ignorant comments.
I do disagree slightly when you say we wouldn’t hear about the same thing happened in Chicago or NYC. With the murder rate in Chicago skyrocketing last year and at an even faster pace this year, I think a tourist getting killed here would be big news – but for totally different reasons.
Katie recently posted..Everything You Never Wanted to Know About My Soviet Sojourn
Steph
06. Feb, 2013
I am purposely staying away from those comments because they might give me a rage stroke.
You may be right about a tourist being murdered- but there are certainly lots of local women being murdered every day and they barely make the news.
anna
06. Feb, 2013
I just posted a very similar article on my blog: http://www.wishfish.org/2013/02/03/a-spot-of-righteous-feminist-rage/
anna recently posted..a spot of righteous feminist rage
Londoner Kate
06. Feb, 2013
This has made me feel so much better about travelling solo, it’s a point well made. Thank you
Londoner Kate recently posted..Shoreditch – Coffee, strippers & Couch Surfers
Lily
06. Feb, 2013
I completely agree with your post, thanks for putting that out there! Solo travel is the most empowering thing I’ve done for myself!
Maria
06. Feb, 2013
Excellent job here – no lengthy manifesto, just the facts. So glad you posted this.
Interesting to me – i get harassed more often when solo in the US than anywhere else in the world.
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Sally
06. Feb, 2013
Since returning to the States this summer, I’d say that I feel more in danger than I ever did during the entire 6 years that I spent living and traveling solo around Asia. A lot of this has to do with the fact that I do a lot of things here that I would probably never do while traveling — drive, walk through dark parking lots on my own, go running on streets that don’t have sidewalks or street lamps (because I live out in the boonies where those things don’t exist).
It doesn’t help that I also work on a college campus. I’ve already read two articles about people being shot on college campuses this month, despite the fact that I try not to read the paper. And, yet, no one tells me I shouldn’t go to work. (Although, I kind of wish they would. I could totally use a vacation!).
Sally recently posted..Five Reasons Why Taking the Train in the States Isn’t Crazy. So Stop Looking at Me So Funny
Steph
06. Feb, 2013
You know I pretty much agree. I feel more nervous about walking alone at night, even just being alone in my home at night, here.
Mark Mercer
06. Feb, 2013
Thank you! I was utterly disgusted by the comments on articles across the web. I ripped into the commenters at the nbcnews-dot-com article, who were just full of the “woman shouldn’t travel alone” and the even worse “what what she doing meeting a man on a bridge from the internet? must be an affair” BS.
Haven’t these rubes ever heard of photowalks, of making friends in real life who you first meet in shared online communities, of the famous bridge uniting Europe and Asia? Obviously not.
Mark Mercer recently posted..Not a cloud in this South American sky today
Satu
06. Feb, 2013
Thank you for a fantastic post, I agree 100%. And yeah, I too feel so happy I’m not married to that control freak who wouldn’t let his wife out of the door to travel alone, I find his comment a lot scarier than any scary solo travel story.
Satu recently posted..Visiting the Irpu Falls in Coorg, India
Jeremy Branham
06. Feb, 2013
I had heard about her story but haven’t read much of the details. IMO, this is just another example of the media blowing up a story and skewing the results to make people panic and instill fear. We see this with terrorist attacks on airplanes, every little violent act committed, or any incident abroad. The media wants to make us fear. This is what they are doing here.
This isn’t to say this stuff doesn’t happen. It does. However, women traveling solor – as you stated – isn’t the issue. It’s a sad story but they are focusing on the wrong issue.
Jeremy Branham recently posted..Assassination of JFK: reliving history at The Sixth Floor Museum
Tom @ Waegook Tom
06. Feb, 2013
Wow Steph, I read this post when you put it on FB last night, but was too drowsy to make a comment, now I’ve come back in the morning and it’s exploding!
I agree with what you write here. The media are engaging in fear-mongering, plain and simple. People freaked out when I first came to South Korea, as the media would have you believe that North Korea blowing the country to smithereens is forever imminent, however I feel safer here than I ever did at home in the UK.
Tom @ Waegook Tom recently posted..Cheonan: Same Day, Different City
Whit B Nimble
06. Feb, 2013
I’m so glad you wrote this!! It’s so true. I’ll share it with as many people who try to instill fear in me as I live/travel abroad, as I can.
Patrick
06. Feb, 2013
Great post! People always fear what they don’t know and don’t understand. That’s a bit annoying at times but posts like these may reduce peoples fears a bit.
I meet a lot of female solo travelers and to me they all seem to do really fine.
I too would be much more worried about being in the US than about being in Asia or basically anywhere outside the US
Patrick recently posted..#60 Fraser Island
Kim
06. Feb, 2013
Thank you for writing this. It has really enraged me the way the media is responding to this (though we shouldn’t be surprised!). Keep on keeping on.
Kim recently posted..Beauty in the Breakdowns: Nearing the End… Of My Rope
Judy McLarty
06. Feb, 2013
As a 60-something who travels alone, (just started my own travel/art blog) I agree that the fundamental problem is violence against women in all its nasty forms – anywhere in the world.
I am much more concerned about going to countries where women are clearly more vulnerable because of lack of rule of law, cultural beliefs, or religious doctrines that define women as nothing more than chattels. If there is a fundamental undervaluing of females in the country, that can and will affect a solo female. I’ve experienced this even in Italy, in Sorrento, where I witnessed a restaurant owner berating/yelling/bullying a female server – in front of me. I subsequently asked a man who was showing me around the Amalfi Coast if that was acceptable behaviour, and he looked at me as if I was insane, and replied, “Of course!”
Plus there are the normal issues a traveler faces in a foreign country or city – such as not knowing the most direct routes to a specific location – which means that taxi drivers can take real advantage of you without your knowledge. Recently in Mexico City I was warned by my B&B female host to beware of taxi drivers (licensed or not) – because some were taking solo female riders to bank machines and forcing them to withdraw all their funds from their accounts or credit cards – under threat of physical violence. That’s just not a great way to start your sight seeing. I had taxi drivers rip me off, but no other threats.
Cheers, Judy
Steph
07. Feb, 2013
I think part of the importance of travel is seeing the gender dynamics in other countries and how far some places still have to go. I definitely experienced that a lot in South America, which was infuriating at times.
Craig
06. Feb, 2013
Great post, travel solo, or as a couple is not dangerous, being naive and getting yourself in difficult situations at home or abroad is… And nobody can avoid the crazy person or murderer ifyouhappen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Craig recently posted..Our Route from Mandawa to Bikaner
Talon
07. Feb, 2013
WELL DONE! Couldn’t agree with you more!
Talon recently posted..Our adoption story
This Battered Suitcase
07. Feb, 2013
I completely agree, and I thank you for writing this article.
Nomadic Chick
07. Feb, 2013
If someone was gonna write this, I’m so damn glad it was you. You said it brilliantly — eloquently. I refused to read many of the comments about this woman from news reports, as I would also fly into a rage. I feel for her family, what they must be going through and to have her be blamed These outdated ideas on what men or women are capable of and that malevolent forces in other countries are at work has to change. Travel, as you said, has never been the problem, but the continued atmosphere of ignorance, projecting (blame-game) and xenophobia IS the problem. I hope posts like yours disspel this crap once and for all (crossing my fingers for it!).
Nomadic Chick recently posted..On Spinsterhood, Wheels and Movies
Gigi
07. Feb, 2013
A-FREAKING-MEN!
dan
07. Feb, 2013
“If this poor woman had been murdered in Chicago or New York City we probably would never have heard about it, because it doesn’t play on this fear of the unknown.”
So True! Great post.
dan recently posted..Just for Fun – Keep Calm and Carry On One Bag
SineadF
07. Feb, 2013
It makes me SOOOOO mad to see how one woman traveling alone can be twisted so as to deter others from doing so.
I solo travel a lot and meet up with many guy & girl travelers along the way too – and have never had any real issues (other than the usual stuff I get at home.) Don’t believe me?
Then meet me and let me explain … http://www.wandermates.com/profileview.php?profileuserid=21 … I promise u, solo travel is fine with all the usual precautions.
Olivia - young on the road
07. Feb, 2013
“I’ve found that the hype about traveling abroad is far scarier than the act of actually doing it. ”
This is so true. I am female and only 19 yet I will be travelling alone.
An older friend I have, Overprotective as he is, is “sure” that I will be slashed, raped, and murdered. Horrible! When I asked him if he has even ever been to South East Asia, he replied no. Go figure!
I’m sure that as long as I have my wits and street smarts about me, I will be fine.
I leave on the 19th of March!
Olivia – young on the road recently posted..The Weirdest Swedish Tradition EVER
Steph
07. Feb, 2013
Actually SE Asia was one of the place where I felt safest- there is a lot of respect for women there. You still need to be careful, but it’s a very relaxed place.
Chandler Tomayko
07. Feb, 2013
Wonderfully put and quite true. I have rarely traveled as a non solo female traveler. Situation regardless of your location can get sticky…your best bet is definitely to have your head screwed on straight. Thanks for sharing. Enjoyed the article!
Chandler Tomayko recently posted..Mission Europe 2: Drinking Old School Style
Aggy
07. Feb, 2013
This is a never ending debate, I hate the fact that people are always blaming the women. Like you said, it has never been an issue when men solo travel, but when a news like this pops up, oh it’s her fault for travelling solo. How close minded people are!
Aggy recently posted..People Watching in Milan
Shara
07. Feb, 2013
Wonderfully written! I appreciate you writing this. Although I do not have the time to read through all the comments, (bc let’s face it that’s where the fun part is) I feel there are MANY details to this story that we do not know of. The media makes a spectacle and we create assumptions. It is sad that people do this…. will not stop me from my travel plans… BRING IT ON WORLD!!
arielle
07. Feb, 2013
YES! I’m so sick of the sexist bullying at work here when it is completely unwarranted (not that it EVER is) but more importantly, putting the blame on this innocent woman in an already tragic situation. And thank you for bringing up the fact that you can be victim to violence even in your own hometown, I had a bit of drama trying to relay that message to someone else on my own blog. The problem is the violence, plain and simple.
arielle recently posted..Fear and Traveling for Solo Women; My Thoughts
sydneyreadseverything
07. Feb, 2013
Sing it, Steph! I too get filled with rage when a terrible crime happens and the kneejerk reaction is to conjecture about what the victim did to bring it on themselves. Unfortunately, bad things happen to people engaged in perfectly reasonable endeavors.
sydneyreadseverything recently posted..The Curse of Kehama
Mary
07. Feb, 2013
Well said and I totally agree. Your point about being scared and finding a reason it can’t happen to you is so valid. Even when I am watching a scary movie I go through in my mind how my life is not like theirs so it can’t happen to me. For friday the 3th I am not by a lake, for Scream, I am not in a movie theatre or on the phone with a creep..etc. Its the same thing and a very natural resposnse but getting rid of gender stereotyping and realizing that some dangers are real but that fear is not…that it is just an emorion and most typically an emotion gone haywire…those things are what need to change not traveling.
Mary recently posted..Top Historic Buildings in Surrey
Sara
07. Feb, 2013
Well written, Steph! I just left Istanbul after 6 weeks of living there with my boyfriend. I wasn’t traveling there solo, but I knew a ton of other young women who were living there and traveling Turkey on their own. Travelers need to practice safety and awareness regardless of their gender, and although the situation with this woman in Istanbul is tragic I would not tell anyone to skip that city or country because of it.
Sara recently posted..Wise Travel Words: Sunset Over Kastraki
Maddie
07. Feb, 2013
I’ve read an awful lot of posts about this subject in the last week but you’ve really nailed it. There are an awful lot of people in the U.S who are completely ignorant to how dangerous their own cities can be and who fall for the media hype about foreign travel. Really well written, thanks Stephanie
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Camels & Chocolate
08. Feb, 2013
Preach, sister! I agree with every one of these statements you made!
Camels & Chocolate recently posted..How to Be an Extra on Nashville
Alexis
08. Feb, 2013
Yes Yes Yes! I couldn’t agree with you more. I had a friend (American) who discouraged me from travelling around Spain with with just one other girl saying it was unsafe. Ridiculous! We Americans (especially) have been fooled by the media into thinking that being locked away in our homes with a man at the door is the only way to stay safe, its really sad how afraid we are.
Alexis recently posted..Disappointment at El Rastro Market
Jules
08. Feb, 2013
Thus is such a great article. I’ve had various conversations over the years with people who have been against me our other women traveling alone and have never been able to fully get my point across… Now, I’ll just point them to this!
Jennifer
09. Feb, 2013
Great article. I agree, the media invoke fear in women and make us fearful to travel alone, yet they fail to highlight all the crimes that happen right on our door steps. We need to remember when we hear the news that they only show stories that will make the headlines rather than bland ones.
Jennifer recently posted..Casual Cruises: Why are they so popular?
Anna Picchetti
09. Feb, 2013
I couldn’t agree more. I think it’s interesting that the media has focused on the fact that she was traveling alone and not the fact that she was meeting up with a complete stranger she had met on the internet. I’m sure this guy seemed safe enough from their interactions, but you just never know until you meet in person. It’s important to travel safe when you’re traveling alone, but it sounds like she might have been too trusting of this new friend.
Anna Picchetti recently posted..Networking 101: Because It Really Is Who You Know
Joya
09. Feb, 2013
I agree with you. A woman was recently attacked here in my hometown of San Francisco and I immediately thought, “well she was by herself at 2:30 am” but the point was made afterwards in the news that violence against women needs to stop. A man out by himself in the middle of the night could have easily been attacked as well. I traveled by myself for the first two years ago and I was naturally nervous but I made sure to always be aware and to not put myself in any situations that could be harmful. This story is unfortunate but shouldn’t discourage anyone, whether female or male, or prohibit them from traveling solo.
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Alouise
10. Feb, 2013
I know I’m one of many, but yes I completely agree. A woman traveling alone isn’t an inherent danger, no moreso than it would be for a man traveling alone. I’m sad to see that this has become an issue of female solo travel when as you pointed out, we should be focusing on the issue of violence against women.
Alouise recently posted..Souvenirs and A Contest
Petite Adventures
10. Feb, 2013
Fantastic article! I think you’ve touched on a lot of great points. North America is definitely not the be-all-end-all of safety and we need to stop thinking about it like that. I’m so glad that so many female travels are taking a stand and dispelling the myths of solo female travels!
Kate xo petite-adventures.blogspot.ca
Jessie
10. Feb, 2013
This is probably one of the hardest things to overcome to get my travel adventures started. Unfortunately, it’s not people telling me I’m ruining my career, or my life in general by leaving to travel the world, it’s people concerned that I’m going to get raped, killed, or sold into slavery while travelling solo. I hate this because, after a while, it burrows into your own brain and now half my anxiety about leaving is due to everyone else’s fears! Thank heavens for the internet where I can find examples of amazing women travelers, travelling solo and not suffering fates worse than death!
Jessie recently posted..Travel Budgeting for 2013
Just One Boomer (Suzanne)
10. Feb, 2013
Life lessons:
*Travel smart — male or female, in your home country or abroad
*Bad things sometimes happen to good people— ask the residents of Columbine; Newtown; the London underground in July 2005; NYC on 9/11/01; in Aurora, Colorado; in Japan during the tsunami; in Pompeii; the person whose car was totaled by a drunk driver; and on and on.
Just One Boomer (Suzanne) recently posted..Lincoln — Boomeresque’s First Movie Review
Violeta
10. Feb, 2013
I agree with you, solo female travel is not the problem. It seems funny to me how North Americans perceive certain countries as being not safe. I’m from one of the not-so-safe countries. It’s true there were many cities I visited where I felt safer than I feel in my home city, but I don’t think Bucharest is a risk to any solo female traveler who might want to come and visit. Personal safety depends pretty much on behaviour, the more you try to stand out, the higher the risk. Blend in and nobody will notice you. Accidents happen, that’s also true, but they can happen anywhere and to anybody, not to women travelling alone.
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Helen McNamara
12. Feb, 2013
What a wonderful read this is! I’ve travelled alone extensively and Istanbul will always be my favorite city. I’m a mature solo female traveller ((67). I did a few RTW trips with my husband over a 15 year period after we retired, and continued to travel on my own when I became a widow a few years ago. The most common comment/question I hear is ” How brave of you! Weren’t you scared?” Of course those are from narrow minded non-travellers who think it is safer here at home.
Britany
12. Feb, 2013
So great to see all of these rebuttals to those absolutely absurd comments and thanks for writing such a powerful one, Steph! Hopefully any female who was on the fence about traveling alone and then felt more afraid after hearing the recent news, will also see posts like this and the whole #WeGoSolo movement and realize which side makes the most sense! Get out there ladies, the world is beautiful!
Britany recently posted..3 Words That Shouldn’t Scare You: Solo Female Travel
This American Girl
16. Feb, 2013
I have had countless people tell me I’m stupid or crazy for traveling on my own. In addition to their concerns for my safety, people can’t imagine why someone would want to travel alone. Our culture has an interesting perspective on not only women traveling alone, but solo travel, travel to “exotic” locations, and being alone in general. I blog about my experiences traveling the world, alone, as a woman and I have not found it to be scary nor lonely. Thanks for this incredible post shedding light on a very real issue.
This American Girl recently posted..How to Transition Into Your “Real Life” After Travel
Shalu Sharma
16. Feb, 2013
Lets face it women need to travel and if thats alone it has to be done. But a little caution and getting to know the place can go a long way. I suggest if you are going alone, learn the local language, get to know the culture, the people, the location etc.
Shalu Sharma recently posted..Babies tossed from the roof in this bizarre Indian tradition
Linda Larsson
27. Mar, 2013
Well, if I would learn the local language before visiting every country I’ve been to I would now speak 60 languages…I wish I was that smart! But sorry, I’m not. Of course you understand a country better if you speak the language but is it really that necessary?
Julie
19. Feb, 2013
I recently backpacked through Venezuela alone and it was one of the best trips I’ve taken. I am happy to see so many other solo-female travelers here doing the same fearless things!
Keep on trekking
Suzanne
19. Feb, 2013
Excellent post, and like many, I’ve thought the same things as I followed this story. I chuckled a bit, because like another commenter, I also read through many of the comments on news articles (d’oh!).
Anyway, I feel fortunate that for the most part, the friends and family who follow my travels most are pretty open minded, and while at first there were concerns, and still some raised eyebrows along the way regarding some of the strange places I’ve found myself in, I mostly get comments like “Gee Suzanne, that’s awesome. Thanks for showing us the cool photos!”
Leslie
27. Feb, 2013
Great anger management skills! But I felt the burn anyway! when I travel solo I am still a chicken, don’t go out at night, but admire those females that do pursue their dreams, you are all trailblazers, really.
Also, isn’t that hyper alert awareness that makes travelling solo so awesome? When I am on my own it creates a very awake and alive sensation, not fear, but anticipation, self confidence. That is the essence of my passion for travel in this manner. It strips away the dull deadwood.
The womens’ death is sad, but to blame the victim is just a cop out. Look to our own messes and do some housecleaning, people.
But you know, to thine own self, yardage yardage. Those writing here are likely not the ones with the difficulties.
Ruth
09. Mar, 2013
Late to the game, but “We don’t want to believe these things can happen to us, so we immediately try to figure out what that person did wrong” exactly sums up why victim blaming is such a thing. Thanks for totally shedding a new light on that issue!
Maike von reisetageblog.de
10. Apr, 2013
Well said, and lots of interesting points, especially the one about male solo travellers. Unfortunately, there are some places where it is more risky to travel solo as a woman, or where you cannot feel comfortable, meaning places where there are no single women outside anyway and you would attract attention. I think you are right, women are more careful, and therefore don’t even go to those places.
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Julio Moreno
12. Apr, 2013
Fantastic article, while horrendous events like this happens anywhere, the novelties are what make headlines. That’s one of the reasons I don’t like mainstream journalism. It is about “what will be more popular” rather than “what gives an accurate picture of this part of the world.”
Julio Moreno recently posted..Top 5 Unusual Safety Tips for Travelers You Probably Never Considered
s
13. Apr, 2013
I used to fantasize about traveling the world, solo, but after being bullied, shouted at in the streets in my own hometown, and harassed by older adults who mistook me for an ignorant teenager and thought that I shouldn’t be alone(southern U.S. city), I’m too afraid do it. People think I look naive and innocent.
I’ve been told that I look like Kristen Stewart, so I wouldn’t want foreigners to mistake me for her and harass me for money or sex, thinking I’m a wealthy celebrity.
Ashlea
03. May, 2013
Yesss to all of this