Why I Don’t Have a Bucket List
Posted on 06. Feb, 2011 by Steph in Philosophy
Have you heard of a bucket list?
It’s both the name of some Jack Nicholson movie I’ve never seen, and a term for a list of things you want to do before you die (or you know, kick the bucket). Bucket Lists are really popular in the travel community because people who travel are usually all about fulfilling their life dreams and stuff. The lists usually include a bunch of awesome but unrelated stuff like Visit the Pyramids of Giza, become a best selling novelist and fly a kite. This one, presumably less than sane, lady even robbed a bank because it was “on her bucket list.”
There are a few popular blogs that make a point of sharing their bucket lists with readers. I don’t, and here’s why: I don’t actually have a bucket list- formally or informally. I’ve got no desire to make one either. I’ve been trying to figure out why that is, and here’s what I’ve come up with:
photo credit: peasap
I have enough to-do lists as is
I’ve got an open notepad document on my computer that is basically a huge, never-ending to-do list of things, from “finish article on Dalat” to “book hostel in Hanoi” to “Skype mom.” To-do lists are useful, but man they are stressful, and I don’t really need another one. Particularly one that encompasses my entire LIFE.
I’m a procrastinator
The saddest thing about all my to-do lists is that the number one way to ensure I’m going to put off doing something is to tell me that I HAVE to do it. I can totally see myself waking up some morning at 85 years old and going “Crap! I STILL have to see Machu Picchu and swim with a Great White!”
Cramming something in the middle of a long list of items relegates it into the deadly “someday” pile. I figure that if I REALLY want to do something, I’ll get it done, list or no.
I’m kind of fickle
When I was 14 all I wanted to do in life was to become a professional screenwriter. When I was 23 I was dead set on moving to England permanently. I now want neither of those things. Hell, the things I want to do with my life have changed fairly drastically since September even. I’m pretty sure if I were to make a list now, it would look nothing like the list I would make 5 years from now. Which is fine, I know it’s not set in stone, but than lazy me keeps thinking “why bother?”
I like to keep things vague
It’s not that I don’t have goals or aspirations- it’s just that they are a lot more general than the kinds of things you stick on a list. I wracked my brain for the definitive things I would have to put on a list-list, and here’s what I came up with:
- hug a panda
- publish a book
- ….
I mean, there are a lot o things that I think would be fun to do. I’d love to take the Transiberian Express, live in Spain, and work on an archeological dig, but if I don’t do those things will my life somehow feel incomplete? I don’t think so. Not if I’m doing something else worthwhile instead. My aspiration is more general: I want to have the most interesting experiences possible. The specifics are just cocktail stories.
I’m not trying to knock all of you people who do lovingly maintain such lists. You gotta do what works for you. And I think I get it: life is short, we should be making the most of it. We all want a fully realized life. But I think that the key isn’t found in an arbitrary list. The key is in finding the motivation to actually go out and DO.
Do you have a bucket list?
61 Responses to “Why I Don’t Have a Bucket List”
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valerie
06. Feb, 2011
I think the misunderstanding you have is that you’re just not a list person. I’m totally a list person. I like making them, maintaining them, and especially find joy in crossing things off of them. I feel like people who are bucket listers are also people who enjoy completing new years resolutions, cause I love those too and use those as a way to cross things off my bucket list every year. For me, my bucket list is a rough guide to keep me on track of living my life to its fullest, because seriously it can get mundane real quick with trying to just survive living day to day. I think most people who go into bucket listing go into it with the full realization that they may not get to everything on the list and they’re okay with it, its that way for me at least. Even if I cross of just a few things, I think I’d be ok with it. People who write bucket lists (and even resolutions) and then put it off or just never do it are only setting themselves up for being disappointed, I think half the challenge is finding the determination to do all the things you want in life- some people do, some people just wish.
I think its kind of funny, of all the posts I’ve read, I’m so gaga for lists that I chose to respond for once and to this post..lol Anyway, hopefully I helped you gain some insight into list makers.
Steph
08. Feb, 2011
Glad I got you to comment then! I agree that maybe if you are more of a list person than a bucket list makes sense.
Christine
06. Feb, 2011
I don’t have a bucket list in the true sense of the word–like you, I’m a bit fickle and I can barely keep hold on what i want to do next week, let alone before I die. But I remember reading a friend’s pre-baby bucket list–and that inspired me to do a pre-marriage bucket list–and then more specifically, an Australia bucket list. I just think of it as a list of things I want to do in a specific time period or place–it helps keep me on track! I don’t always stick to them, but it does help keep me organized and goal-oriented–and I’m a stickler for making lists, so this just gives me an excuse for another one!
Steph
08. Feb, 2011
I think I remember reading your post about this and I do like that idea a lot better. Much more specific- much more doable!
Cailin
06. Feb, 2011
I don’t have one either!!!!! It would be impossible for me to make one, I was actually planning on writing a post on what I “have done” pretty much the opposite of a a bucket list…. I think I might still do that…hmmm but then to remember all of the great things that I have done would be just as hard as creating a list of things I still want to do because I am sure that there are many things out there that I don’t know about nor have I ever thought about but I’m sure I will some day. I do enjoy reading people’s bucket lists and picking out the things that I would also like to do though haha Your not alone Steph!
Steph
08. Feb, 2011
Yeah, I don’t have one but I do find it interesting to read other peoples- kind of like reading people’s trip itineraries…
Joseph
06. Feb, 2011
It’s funny, cause my latest post is about my bucket list, however I don’t look at it as “things to do before I die” rather than “things to look forward to doing”…I like making lists, and this bucket list will be forever changing, some things I might do may not even make the list, but happen as life goes on…
oh and you SHOULD watch the movie, it’s really great – the message is not to make a bucket list, but live your life to the fullest
Steph
08. Feb, 2011
Okay, am putting the movie in my (illegal) download queue right now…
Chris
06. Feb, 2011
Just yesterday I wrote a blog titled “50 things that make me happy.” One of the items on THAT list was scratching an item off my bucket list. Another was adding an item to it.
There’s an old proverb that says one of the keys to happiness is to always have something to look forward to. A bucket list, for me, is just a more organized filing system for those things.
Steph
08. Feb, 2011
A very nice way to put it!
Rachel Cotterill
06. Feb, 2011
I don’t have a bucket list per se, even though I love lists. Why? It would be reallllllllly long! And a deadline of ‘before I die’ isn’t quite enough of a deadline to get me moving. So I made a “Before 30″ list instead – and on my 30th birthday, I’ll make one for 35. I find it helps to have a reasonably close focus. But, yes, I’m definitely a list person – it helps me focus and I love the feeling of ticking something off as completed.
PS I’ve done the transmongolian railway, and worked on a dig – both highly recommended experiences
Steph
08. Feb, 2011
A before 30 list sounds much more managable!
Erica
06. Feb, 2011
I did create a bucket list… and at 100 I still find myself mentally adding to the list. I have too much of an imagination.. especially for someone like me that wants to do everything.
audreydez
06. Feb, 2011
I do have a bucket list but my life isn’t ruled by it at all! I had a few things in mind and writing them down felt so good and made me refocused on my dreams. So for me it was a good idea, but as you say, if writing a bucket list doesn’t work for you than whatever, it really doesn’t matter. As long as you’re happy and living to the fullest!
Steph
08. Feb, 2011
Yeah, whatever works for people is good with me!
Theodora
06. Feb, 2011
I’ve never had a bucket list, either… Partly it’s because I’m not a list maker, partly because I like to go with the flow…
But I’d almost like to write one, now, because they’re useful at recording where you are in your life, right now, and as documents to look back on and remember the person you were then.
Steph
08. Feb, 2011
This is very true- I like the idea not so much as a to-do list but as a record of a moment in time.
Gray
06. Feb, 2011
I think some of us just need those lists to remind us to stay focused on our goals. Life is moving so fast all the time, it’s easy to get sucked into the “tyranny of the urgent” and forget the more important things that aren’t as urgent, but that we really want to do. It sounds like your system works fine for you, though, so different strokes….
Steph
08. Feb, 2011
Yeah, definitely whatever works for people is okay with me!
Kieron
06. Feb, 2011
We keep on meaning to put together a bucket list but continue procrastinating on it, maybe it’s a sign that we shouldn’t bother with it?
You make a great point about things changing as your life progresses and this definitely holds true. Couldn’t imagine wanting to do the same thing in 10 years that I want to now, hell just thinking about what I might have been on my bucket list as a teenager scares me now!
Steph
08. Feb, 2011
Haha I wish I did have a bucket list of 15 year old me. I’m sure it would have been hilarious!
Allison Suter
06. Feb, 2011
I don’t have an official bucket list. I have about 13 lists in various places listing various things I’d like to do.
Will my heart be broken if I don’t cross everything off every list? Probably not. Will my heart be broken if I don’t cross a few select things off of those lists? Probably!
I find the lists are much much much more important to me now that I am back and home planning my next adventure. I didn’t have any sort of bucket list, per se, on either of my RTW adventure.
Steph
08. Feb, 2011
Yeah, I think that the idea of a bucket list would have appealed to me more when I was waiting to travel then now that I’m actually moving around.
Ruth
06. Feb, 2011
I have a loose idea in my head of various things I want to do/see but don’t enjoy making or crossing off lists so would never sit down and write a comprehensive to do list.
What I do do is I keep a (private) list that I suppose you could call a reverse bucket list: the things I’ve done, with dates I did them. Looking back at this list gives me a ‘yes I did it!’ feeling which motivates to make whatever I’m currently wishing to do a reality.
Steph
08. Feb, 2011
I love hte idea of a reverse bucket list! Sometimes it really helps to remember accomplishments.
Amanda
06. Feb, 2011
I DO have a bucket list, but I think the beauty of a bucket list is that it’s really just a rough guide of things you dream about doing. It can be fluid. It can change – constantly, if you want. And, at the end of the day, it’s just a list. You don’t really HAVE to fulfill all of those things. It’s just that some of them are really fun to work toward.
Steph
08. Feb, 2011
flexibility is definitely key.
Connie
07. Feb, 2011
I have a bucket list but I’m a bit like you too. I’m fickle. I want to do pretty much EVERYTHING. If I die and don’t do all the things I want to do, I’m not going to have any regrets.
So why a bucket list then?
Well, I find that it helps me keep on dreaming. Yes, I want to scuba dive with whale sharks in Djbouti and I’ve yet to cross that off my bucket list, but when I look back on all the things that I have crossed off, that alone makes me feel like I’ve already accomplished so much in my life AND it makes me feel better that I can continue to achieve my dreams no matter how big or small.
Steph
08. Feb, 2011
That’s great- while I don’t have a list I think that’s exactly the way they should be used- as an inspirational tool.
Monica
07. Feb, 2011
I totally agree and I’m also a compulsive ‘To-do’ listmaker. I spend hours making them all pretty and attractive in the hope that it might make me want to do something on it, but this takes me so long i don’t have time to do anything on the to do list!
Travelling is best done by the seat of your pants without any lists involved!
Steph
08. Feb, 2011
Haha, I know I’m in trouble when I start making to-do lists as a way to procrastinate…
Kate
07. Feb, 2011
I don’t have a bucket list, which is weird actually ’cause I love making lists… Actually, I think it’s because I my usual ‘to do lists’ are done for the sheer glee of being able to cross things off and go ‘mwahaha – done!!!!’ Which isn’t the way I want to think of my beloved life experiences!
I do make must-do lists for individual trips though – generally three or five things to build the rest around, and to prevent me from becoming mired in the Swamp of Indecision.
Steph
08. Feb, 2011
I could probably stand to make more lists like the latter one, I’m always forgetting stuff I wanted to do.
Sarah
07. Feb, 2011
I don’t like the idea of a bucket list, but I do have a random list of aspirations taped onto my wall – a dream wall, if you will! Some of these are definitive experiences that I’d love to get the chance to do (say, hike the Great Wall of Chine) and others are reminders about the sort of life I’d like to be living (wear flip flops for a month, stop worrying about what other people think). For me, it’s a visual reminder, as I’ve been working away to save for the travels, of what I’m doing all of this for. Like the people above, it keeps me focused.
On a different note, however, I think it’s rarely the big ‘bucket list’ experiences which are the most gratifying. Rather, it’s the small unplanned experiences which will make the most lasting memories.
Steph
08. Feb, 2011
I like that idea a lot- because it’s more of a reminder of your goals then a list you are ticking off.
And you’re right, small things count the most.
claire
07. Feb, 2011
No bucket list—I don’t want to be disappointed when I don’t accomplish all of them! I just try to take advantage of the opportunities I am granted, rather than mope over the ones I’m not. And let’s face it, if I reeeeallllly thought about those at length, I would get more than little mopey!
Steph
08. Feb, 2011
Seriously, I try really hard not to dwell on missed opportunities and focus on creating new ones!
Jaime
07. Feb, 2011
I don’t have a bucket list either and don’t plan on having one for two reasons. If i did #1 would be to meet Kelly Clarkson & #2 would be to do everything that is imaginable. Ok honest most of the reasons you listed are reasons why I don’t have one either.
Steph
08. Feb, 2011
hahahha. love it.
Scott
07. Feb, 2011
Yeah, not a bucket list guy either, but mainly because it would be never ending and my ADD kinda gets in the way of “lists”!
Steph
08. Feb, 2011
I feel you there! So much to do in the world too, why limit yourself.
cynthia scarborough
07. Feb, 2011
Hey, I don’t have one either. Got too many things I want to do and I doubt that there’s enough paper or time to compile one. Live in the moment!
Steph
08. Feb, 2011
woohoo!
Rob W.
07. Feb, 2011
I don’t have a bucket list of things to do before I die though I do have a written list of things I would like to do some time (written because I’d normally forget most of the things). If I do them, good, if not, whatever.
Steph
08. Feb, 2011
Probably a healthier attitude!
Akila
07. Feb, 2011
I am a list lover but I don’t have a bucket list. Why? Because I like how I evolve . . . how some days, I think I want to do something different than what I want to do the next day. You call it fickleness, I call it adaptability.
Steph
08. Feb, 2011
That’s a nicer spin on it! It’s true though- I’m loathed to be pigeon holed.
Jeremy
08. Feb, 2011
My biggest fear of having a bucket list is actually finishing it. Then when it is over.. what do I have to live for? I did it all! That is why on mine, my very last one is “Do it all over again” That’ll show time!
Rease
08. Feb, 2011
I don’t have a bucket list either for a lot of the same reasons you don’t. I have so many to-do lists!
I love traveling and I want to do as much as I can, but I don’t want to fail myself. I feel like if I had a bucket list, once something was on it I could never feel good about not completing it. As if I was a total failure who isn’t living her dream. That’s ridiculous!
Oddly enough, I just told my friend last night “If I didn’t wake up tomorrow, I’d be super happy with the life I lived.” Not that I want to die, I’d love to do and see more things, but I’m 23 and I have really lived my life the way I want to. I don’t need a list.
Aggie
08. Feb, 2011
I keep putting off writing my bucket list. Truth is I am also a procrastinator and compiling a list would just remind me of everything that is out there. Might even stress me out. Right now, I think my plan is to go along the road and if the opportunity pops up then I’ll take it. I do have dreams and stupid things I want to do, like skydiving, but I know it might be hard. Btw, I will be skydiving in June hopefully since the opportunity came up after WDS is over.
Maybe a bucket list is a list of things I would like to do someday. Like you, I change my mind way too often. I was ready to sign up for the Peace Corps and now I’m not even looking into it any further
Nomadic Matt
09. Feb, 2011
I would love to hug a panda! Hopefully, they wouldn’t eat me….
I dont have a bucket list because it would include too many thing. I want to do it all!
Steph
13. Feb, 2011
I think it would have to be a baby panda so that it could only take off a limb or so.
Rebecca
09. Feb, 2011
I totally agree with things always changing, why make a list if you aren’t going to cross things off? But one thing that I think is fun and I have done in the past, is make a list, do as much as I can, forget about the list and then find it years later and laugh at myself for wanting to do certain things on the list.
When it comes to travel and like the position you are in now, I can relate in that I could barely think ahead to next week, much less the big picture.
I like reading others and getting ideas, but to actually put it to paper for myself? That is something I would have done in high school, but not now.
Steph
13. Feb, 2011
Yeah, I do things like that: write myself letters, go back and read old journals. It’s so interesting how much tastes and ideas change over time.
Lindsay
22. Feb, 2011
I love bucket lists!! But like you said about yourself, I guess I could also describe myself as “fickle.” My ideas change so quickly it’s ridiculous. I once was asked what the one constant in my life was and I answered, “change.” However, I still love making bucket lists because the possibilities are so exciting!!!
Meadowlark
12. May, 2011
I hate them, because they always have to contain “hip and trendy” things… “swim with sharks”, “climb the pyramids”, “Times Square on New Year’s Eve”.
My bucket list would include stuff like: plant a garden, watch the clouds, catch a fish, see the northern lights, spend a winter in an isolated cabin.
I get overwhelmed just READING all these uber-accomplished peoples’ lists!
Meadowlark
12. May, 2011
Um, but they’re totally fine for other people.
(because I sounded so damn judgmental)
Steph
17. May, 2011
haha- nice save there! I agree with you though. Plus I’ve done Times Square on New Years Eve and it was horrible. Can I put it on my bucket list to never ever do that again?
Kat
16. May, 2011
I kind of hate the term bucket list, so that alone has me inclined not to make one…
That being said, I made a life list in college, and I’m looking forward to digging out that old journal of mine when I’m at my parents’ house in a few weeks. I’m curious to see what of the things on it I’ve accomplished in the past ten years; I know I’ve done at least a few! (One was live in NYC for at least a year, and I’m pretty sure another was live on the West Coast for at least a year.)
I like the idea of making the list and putting the intention out there, but not necessarily adhering to it strictly.
Steph
17. May, 2011
I love reading stuff like that- old letters to myself and such. Maybe that’s the key- make a bucket list- completely forget about it and then check back at 55.
Marretta
11. Apr, 2012
I am to busy in the moment for a bucket list….in my teens being a small (tiny) town gal…I wanted to go everywhere and see everything before I die…in my 20′s having moved to a larger town.. I wanted to find a good husband…In my 30′s I was busy …
In my 40′s even busier… 50′s too busy to remember half the stuff I need to do…and would probably loose the darn list, or simply forget where I put it….then probably find it some where totally strange place and wonder “what the hell is this, and when did i make it”…. or did a family member do it just to mess with me lol… Enjoy all life’s moments good and bad it goes very quickly… if you want a list make one …But don’t be bound by it .. the movie was funny kind of like life.