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Savings, Sacrifice and the Psychology of Delayed Gratification

Pass it along:

Spending Diet update! You can track how my own savings are progressing here (I’m over 75% of the way there with 4 months to go!).

Of all the reactions I’ve encountered when telling people about my travel plans (and I’ve told close to a billion people at this
point), the most infuriating actually came from my dentist:

Needlicious

Creative Commons License photo credit: Conor Lawless

“It must be nice to have rich parents.”

As I sat there, literally speechless with my mouth clamped open, all I could think was “Yes, that MUST be nice.” I however, wouldn’t know. My parents have been supportive in so many ways: from acting as personal cheerleaders to letting me live at home rent-free. However, even if they HAD money to spare (which they don’t), they wouldn’t be handing it over to me to go vagabonding.

So, while I count myself lucky in so, so many ways, possessing extreme wealth, or even comfortable wealth, isn’t one of them. Instead I have the values of hard work, self-sufficiency and working towards my goals. I think that’s probably true for most of us young backpackers,

So how do we get ourselves out into the world? Through the far less glamorous method of sacrifice and delayed gratification.

Sacrifice

Sacrifices are the things you give up that you can’t get back.

Passing up on box seats to the final Capitals playoff game, for example. Sure, I saved some money, but I will never, ever have the opportunity to attend that hockey game again. While in turbo travel savings mode I’ve been forced to give up all sorts of things, from vacations, to new jeans, to having my own apartment.

Often it can be very difficult to make sacrifices, even when you know it’s for the best. For most travelers experiencing the great things in life are the whole point, so passing up on great opportunities now is very dispiriting. This is why I try to look at most of the savings methods I use not as sacrifices, but as exercises in delayed gratification…

Delayed Gratification

Vacation fund jar

Creative Commons License photo credit: danesparza

Put simply, delayed gratification is the concept of giving up something now to obtain something better later. It’s not always easy to do, but it’s an important skill to learn, one that benefits us in many areas of life (and studies have shown is closely linked with intelligence).

Keeping the idea of delayed gratification in mind can help you stay disciplined in the quest to save money. Looking at your newly changed spending and living habits not as sacrifices to the travel gods, but as steps on the road towards something bigger and greater can make it much easier to forego that morning Starbucks.

Here are some tips for strengthening your skills as delaying gratification:

  • Make your goals concrete- it is a lot harder to internally justify saving to go “somewhere, someday” then it is to save for a tangible trip or destination.  Remind yourself constantly of your goal- pictures help.
  • Make equivalencies- I would have loved to go to that Caps game with my coworkers last week. But at a $180 a ticket? That’s an entire week’s budget in Thailand. It may be 9 months away, but ultimately, Thailand is more important to me and remembering that made it a lot easier to say no (and, as it turns out, we lost the game tragically anyways).
  • Give yourself small rewards- nobody is perfect at this and if you make yourself miserable by living a Spartan life you will almost certainly break under the pressure. If it’s really important to you to do something- do it. If you are climbing up the wall with restlessness and wanderlust, take a small trip. It might take a bite out of your savings, but if it makes life bearable then it’s worth it. And in the end it will probably make you more focused on your end goal.

There’s nothing earth shattering here, what we are talking about is a simple paradigm shift. Saving up for travel is not a punishment, and it doesn’t mean you have to live like a self-sacrificing monk. It’s important to remember that when we put our spending habits on hold, it’s because we know that there is an even bigger reward at the end.

In addition, learning to save and learning self-control are skills that will last you throughout life. And that’s way better than being born rich…. Right?


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34 Responses to Savings, Sacrifice and the Psychology of Delayed Gratification

  1. Anil May 2, 2010 at 8:25 AM #

    It’s annoying when people assume you’re rich because you travel. It’s just a decision of what you spend your money on. Oh, and on those Caps tickets, probably best you didn’t go anyway seeing how the series turned out!
    .-= Anil´s last blog ..Interview With Dave Fox About Globejotter Tours, Combining Writing And Travel – [Part 1 of 2] =-.

    • Kelly Robinson May 2, 2010 at 10:23 AM #

      I agree! Being able to travel isn’t about being wealthy. Its about making Travel your priority and making good investments. My general rule of thumb: spending money to eat, drink, and sleep are not good investments. Once you spend money on them, they are gone. Bungy jumping, for example- great investment. It pays for itself even in being able to talk about it for the rest of your life. Good luck on the last 25%!

      • Steph May 2, 2010 at 10:32 AM #

        I like the way you break it down (although spending money to eat MIGHT be an investment in continuing to live?). But yes, the most you can cut down on those basic costs, the more you can “invest” in the future.

    • Steph May 2, 2010 at 10:31 AM #

      Seriously. I watched it at a bar for free and got to experience just as much heartbreak as I would have in person!

  2. Kelsey May 2, 2010 at 11:37 AM #

    This is a concept I try to convey to people all the time. The equivalencies part is especially important, even outside the context of travel. Would you rather eat out twice a week or only do it once a week and buy a really nice dress once a month, or take a weekend trip to a nearby destination once a month? People, I find, are often very much caught up in the moment, and they have a hard time seeing that they don’t actually want what they want now as much as they want what they want in the future.
    .-= Kelsey´s last blog ..Downsizing? Us? =-.

    • Steph May 2, 2010 at 2:39 PM #

      Yeah I think in general most of us are pretty bad at resisting the constant cultural messages to SPEND SPEND SPEND NOW NOW NOW. It’s an important skill to have no matter what your goals are.

  3. The Jetpacker May 2, 2010 at 12:15 PM #

    I hate assumptions like that. People have said the same about us, assuming we’re rich. We’re not rich — we’re barely making it. But we don’t waste a lot of money and we take advantage of really good travel deals. Anyone can travel if they don’t drop a couple hundred every weekend on entertainment. Stay home, walk at a park, go to the bookstore or library. There’s plenty of cheap stuff to do that’ll keep you entertained.

    Btw, Steph, as a Ducks fan, we experienced our heartbreak weeks ago. On the bright side, we’ll be much more productive without them in the playoffs.
    .-= The Jetpacker´s last blog ..7 Cities Not To Be Confused With More Famous Cities =-.

    • Steph May 2, 2010 at 2:40 PM #

      That’s how I’m looking at the upcoming Lost finale… more time for blogging!

      I think a lot of people have misconceptions of how expensive travel is and how hard it is to acquire the money for it.

  4. Alouise May 2, 2010 at 12:47 PM #

    I always hate when I’m at the dentist and he’s talking to me, cause I can’t say anything. What a completely unfair moment for you. Were you able to explain your position after? In any case delay of gratification is a great way to look at things. You’re not giving something up, you’re just trading them for something better. And congrats on your savings thus far, very impressive.
    .-= Alouise´s last blog ..List #5 – Musicals I want to see. =-.

    • Steph May 2, 2010 at 2:41 PM #

      I think I just shrugged it off but it really did bother me. Sucks to be working so hard for something and to have the discounted. Thanks for the well wishes!

  5. Gray May 2, 2010 at 1:30 PM #

    The only way to stop people from making stupid remarks like “must be nice to be rich” is to go ahead and let them know exactly what your situation is. Make them feel stupid for making such an assumption. Then maybe they’ll think before they open their mouths next time. I’ve known people who made way more money than me but were always broke because they had no self-control when it came to spending. It’s all about priorities and being able to focus your spending on what’s really important to you (or saving it, as the case may be).
    .-= Gray´s last blog ..Shiny Travel Objects: May 2, 2010 =-.

    • Steph May 2, 2010 at 2:41 PM #

      I agree, and I usually try to correct people’s misconceptions (although I let it slide with my dentist- he has powers I don’t want to aggravate!).

  6. Adam May 2, 2010 at 3:17 PM #

    Oh, I can soooo relate!

    I’m sick of people thinking I’m rich. I’m just doing what I want with my money, and have been smart about planning for what it is that I want.

    Also, 2 weeks at my parent’s house before leaving has saved me from spending money I otherwise would have. Though it brings up a whole other set of sacrifices!
    .-= Adam´s last blog ..Wombat Wednesday: A Bonnaroo Packing List =-.

    • Steph May 2, 2010 at 3:40 PM #

      It’s funny, people either thing “rich” or “irresponsible” (or both I guess). It’s just frustrating.

  7. Erica May 2, 2010 at 3:49 PM #

    My mom always told me that only rich people can travel. Needless to say she is still boggled at how I do it. I have my friend for support – I think my mom is a little jealous and doesn’t like to talk about my travels. When I go over there our conversation reservoir runs dry quite quickly.

    But I mean – she didn’t even want to pay for my college, much less help me go around the world. :)
    .-= Erica´s last blog ..A Traveler’s Commitment =-.

    • Steph May 2, 2010 at 10:11 PM #

      That’s a shame, but there are a lot of people who don’t really approve/understand the traveling lifestyle. As long as YOU are okay with your choices!

  8. ehalvey May 2, 2010 at 7:45 PM #

    Oh gosh, I’m desperate to travel right now since Nashville’s under water.

    I do hate that rich comment, I would have been tempted to turn that scraper on him, lol!

    Great post! It was a nice distraction from the deluge. And it can also be applied to other things in life. Like quitting your day job to pursue a hobby or going back to school.
    .-= ehalvey´s last blog ..Splashville =-.

    • Steph May 2, 2010 at 10:12 PM #

      Definitely, it’s the same psychology no matter WHAT you are saving money for.

  9. Cornelius Aesop May 2, 2010 at 9:54 PM #

    I can’t blame your dentist because I used to think this very way, but once I found my way and interacted with other travelers and learned their stories it became more realistic and approachable. In reality until I started to create my own site I didn’t even know all the ways and inspiring stories out there that show you how to do it. Especially for those of us who aren’t in the business field. Heck my parents, until their recent retirement, were on display at the local zoo and let me tell you they don’t pay but it’s free rent and meals plus we get to fling poo at strangers and don’t get in trouble.
    .-= Cornelius Aesop´s last blog ..Motorcycle Diaries-Tell Me Where I Should Go! =-.

    • Steph May 2, 2010 at 10:14 PM #

      Part of the reason I created this blog is to dispell the myth that travel is only an option for the lucky few. The more informed people are the better!

  10. Candice May 3, 2010 at 1:33 PM #

    Whoa, that’s quite a harsh statement from the dentist. Who made him a life expert? Anyway, it’s super cool that you have the ability to save money like you do. I, on the other hand, am not having as much luck. ;)
    .-= Candice´s last blog ..Guest Post: Don’t Eat the Spacecakes in Amsterdam =-.

    • Steph May 3, 2010 at 7:01 PM #

      Dentists think they are SO cool. It’s been a struggle with the money thing but now that I’ve found a groove it’s coming a lot easier.

  11. Stacy May 3, 2010 at 2:51 PM #

    It’s nice to know I’m not the only one feeling the travel fund pinch. I’m halfway to my RTW goal and the wait is driving me up the wall!

    Thanks for the blog entry!

    • Steph May 3, 2010 at 7:02 PM #

      Reaching the halfway point is the hardest point! I feel like the money I already have in the bank is encouragement to keep going.

  12. Emily May 4, 2010 at 4:39 PM #

    Kudos to you for being so diligent and saving so much up for your trip! My best savings tip is to have an interest-earning savings account for travel only, and to set up an automatic savings plan. I have my checking account with one bank, but have my travel savings account at a separate, online-only bank. Each week, a set amount automatically goes from my checking account to my savings at the other bank (I change the amount from time to time depending on how soon I’m traveling). This is great because even when I forget to set money aside, I’m saving for travel. The benefit of it being at a separate bank is that it usually takes 2-3 days for the money to transfer, so I can’t use it impulsively. By spreading it out weekly, you hardly notice it and usually don’t have to worry about overdrafting. Then, whenever I have some extra money, I toss it in that account, and it all adds up, especially since it has interest. It’s my favorite method of saving now!
    .-= Emily´s last blog ..Q&A With Irish Backpacker and Blogger Johnny Ward =-.

  13. Verity May 9, 2010 at 4:53 PM #

    It really annoys me that people always assume if you travel you must be rich. I’ve had people say “Oh, well… if you can afford that sort of thing” as I stand in their nicely decorated apartment they’ve just finished payments on and drink coffee from their fancy espresso machine. A lot of people really don’t recognise the sacrifice involved if you want to travel a lot.

    Have you ever seen the Marshmallow Test speaking of delayed gratification. It’s pretty funny and very cute:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EjJsPylEOY
    .-= Verity´s last blog ..Escape from Istanbul – Part I =-.

    • Steph May 9, 2010 at 5:08 PM #

      Yeah I came across that when I was writing this post! Science backs me up I guess!

  14. Beverly/@TravelMaestro May 12, 2010 at 12:47 PM #

    My kids don’t have a rich parent either, but we have all managed to travel quite a bit – enough to instill the bug in them as youngsters. Now as upper teens and early 20′s they are very self-reliant, self-motivated, and can make good decisions on spending. Your post is so spot on, I passed it on to them. I think you are indeed very rich, my dear… in wisdom. Good luck and I will continue to follow your progress! Cheers – Beverly
    .-= Beverly/@TravelMaestro´s last blog ..Ni Sa Bula, Welcome to Fiji! =-.

    • Steph May 12, 2010 at 12:51 PM #

      Thank you so much Beverly! It sounds like you raised your children to be smart, self-reliant individuals. I’m glad my parents did the same!

  15. Sophia Harrison May 24, 2010 at 2:41 AM #

    Psychology is one of the most interesting branches of science because there are so many unknowns.-;”

  16. Sosha June 6, 2011 at 8:57 AM #

    More power to you… And more travel to every twenty-something!

  17. wandergirl June 28, 2012 at 7:22 AM #

    Wow, rude dentist! I have had a pretty generous, but hardly “rich” family which has made saving for travel easier (and given me travel experiences at a young age because my family made it a priority in their budget), but it still bugs me when people would say “Oh, well I can’t afford to do what you did. You’re lucky.”

    Yes, I am lucky – but I also shared the rent of a bathroom-sized flat with another person for a year, lived almost solely off soup, and made other sacrifices that some people just aren’t willing to make. And that’s fine – they have different priorities. But that’s ultimately what it’s about. Yes, for many people it’s a luxury, but for the vast majority of people claiming they can’t afford it, it’s just a matter of, as you said, shifting their paradigm slightly.

    Though, even if you had rich parents, I don’t know where people get off thinking it’s okay to be rude to rich people.

    Thanks for the insights!

  18. Emma Tameside July 20, 2012 at 9:12 PM #

    I absolutely love to travel, and there’s always a bizarre premise that because you’re visiting so many different places, you must be wealthy in some way. Making sacrifices and awaiting that later gratification like you gracefully point out in this article is what it’s all about. Not to say that given the chance I wouldn’t set up an air charter in a heartbeat, but there two completely different experiences.

    One of the biggest sacrifices I’ve made towards travel is spending a lot less time with my friends and family. Even when I am at home, I don’t have nearly enough money to spend quality time with them, especially if they’re wanting to hit the town. Although this can feel pretty bad, over time that delayed gratification kicks in and you know why it was all worth it.

    There has been times were I’ve slipped up, decided to attend some financially intensive local concert and lost out on a great travel opportunity, which is why I’m taking a keen note of your tips on strengthening the will power to await a later gratification. Goals is something I must definitely work on, I haven’t been known to be the most organized person in the world.

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    [...] certainly no small task, starts with Steph’s, see above, and concerns shifting your desires from instant to delayed gratification. To summarize, she considers why your desire to buy stuff only gets you to Best Buy, not on a plane [...]

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