How NOT to Decide Where You Want to Travel; or Why I’ve Never Been to Paris

Posted on 27. Sep, 2009 by Steph in Philosophy

Awhile back I wrote there is no bad reason to want to go somewhere. I stick by that assertion; everywhere is worth seeing to the right person. However, over time I’ve encountered reasons that don’t make sense for me personally. While other people may see these spots out, I tend to avoid them. Here are some reasons that I personally don’t find compelling enough to visit a place:

Creative Commons License photo credit: Marcus Vegas

It’s a party hot spot- The IT spot varies from year to year, but it is usually characterized by throbbing nightclubs, huge crowds and high prices (see: Ibiza, Cancun). There are people who love visiting these nightlife hot spots because of the cache and party atmosphere. I am not one of those people. Call me old but crowds and jacked up prices make me cranky.

Creative Commons License photo credit: Alberto OG

Everyone says “you must go there”- “You can’t go to Europe without visiting Paris/Amsterdam/whatever.” Actually, you can. I’ve been to Europe three times and I’ve yet to make it to Paris. I like crepes as much as the next girl but I just haven’t had a strong desire to go. It’s expensive, the people are unpleasant and the Eurostar from London was too damn expensive to warrant a trip. I’ll probably make it there eventually but I won’t be bullied into visiting just because everyone else has.

Creative Commons License photo credit: wili_hybrid

It will give you street cred- There’s this competition that rises up between travelers at hostels to see who is the most hardcore. People are always trying to one up each other “You went to Russia? Well I went to Chernobyl!” Good for you but I’m not playing. Going somewhere just to brag you’ve been doesn’t make you more interesting, it makes you less tolerable (although Chernobyl does sound pretty intriguing).

Now don’t get me wrong, there are reasons that these places become popular and they usually are meritous. I will go to Paris someday, I have no doubt. Maybe you disagree; you are a nightclub enthusiast but ancient ruins bore you to tears. That’s fine. My point is that you should never feel like you HAVE to visit somewhere due to other people’s opinions. There’s no Best Traveler contest and you won’t be proving anything. The only places you have to visit are the ones you actually desire to see.

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35 Responses to “How NOT to Decide Where You Want to Travel; or Why I’ve Never Been to Paris”

Emily
27. Sep, 2009
I never had much of an urge to go to Paris, either. But last summer I realized I was going to be very nearby, so I decided to stay there for 3 nights just to get a feel for it since everyone had hyped it up so much. While I didn’t love it as much as some people do, I was really glad to experience it. There is an incredibly unique culture, and some of the landmarks like the Eiffel Tower, Arc d’Triumph, Versailles, Notre Dame, and the Louvre may sound like lame and over-hyped tour attractions, but I can assure you that I was absolutely blown away by each and every one of those things. I also enjoyed the bizarre Pierre Lachase (sp?) cemetary, where great writers, musicians, and thinkers are buried, and tiny bakeries and pastry shops tucked away from the tourists. I was initially reluctant to go there and mostly just went to check it off my list, but it really impressed me and made me realize that maybe there is a reason why so many people love it and go there.
I totally agree that sometimes just going somewhere to say you went there is lame, but sometimes it turns out to be a place you unexpectedly like. Regardless, places like Paris have such incredible architecture and history….definitely worth going to at least once in your lifetime (and I would not mind never going back — now more interested in other parts of the country).
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aelle
27. Sep, 2009
I definitely agree with #1 and #3 (although I’ve been to my share of places “just because it’s cool”… but not with the intent of bragging about it later!)
As for point #2, I have to say that if a place is overwhelmingly recommended, there is usually a reason for that. When people give you one of these clichés, dig a little deeper: are they reciting the guidebook or is there really a personal emotion, a spark when they retell their travel? Most people get teary eyed talking about Bali or Kyoto… and usually it is because they had a true travel hight point, if not a near-mystical experience there.
A last word about Paris specifically… I have a particular view about this city, having been born there, having left and later come back as a tourist. It’s a city that’s hard to tame. You know how some places make you feel at home right away, and others challenge you? Paris is of the second kind, hardcore. Only if you measure up can you access the best it has to offer – and it is truly amazing, and a lot more than what the guidebook says.
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- Steph
  27. Sep, 2009
  Emily- Yeah I do think I’ll get there eventually, it’s just never been much of a priority. I would like to see the cemeteries there though, I’ve hear Père Lachaise is very beautiful.
  Aelle- That is a good point. It’s not that I’m against taking recommendations from people; that’s how I’ve ended up in som really cool places. I’m just not fan of the idea that there are certain places you HAVE to see when you visit Europe or France or the US or whereever.
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Susan
27. Sep, 2009
Steph-
I definitely agree with you about the bragging nonsense that goes on in hostels and bars (usually conversations with douchebags you can’t quite seem to get away from).
I have been to Paris twice and just loved it, but I feel that Paris is to you what Prague is to me. It has been so overwhelming recommended by all the bragsters that I am completely turned off. Perhaps some day I will visit.
I do have say that Paris is amazing..don’t take my word for it, though. The time I loved it most was when I went to visit a friend and we did unconventional things that were somehow distinctly still Parisienne. Nothing can beat getting the city from a local.
Great piece!
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Gray
28. Sep, 2009
Theoretically, I agree with your point in this post, that people should go wherever they want to go, and not where people tell them they “should” go, and people’s reasons for choosing their destinations are very personal. However, I do have to ask: If you’ve never been to Paris, how do you know the people there are unpleasant?
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Jason
28. Sep, 2009
I agree that in theory these points are correct; especially when Prague is involved. What I think is worth mentioning is the value in visiting major epicenters around the world because, inherently, they were the starting points for the development of the rest of the country and its culture. Major cities, usually those that one “must” visit, offer an important point of comparison that helps to understand cultural development in both rural and urban settings. For example, if someone has never visited Rome, will they fully understand the significance of a Roman coliseum in North Africa? This is not to say that it is necessary to visit Paris before vacationing in Normandy, or Beijing before a boat cruise on the Mekong River, but doing so will help you understand and appreciate your chosen vacation spot all the more.
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Nancy
28. Sep, 2009
Great post. I’ve always had places I’ve just never had interest in going, like the Caribbean or Disney World. And I agree with you about the competition thing being annoying when meeting fellow travelers.
Btw, I do have to say I’ve enjoyed Paris (and Amsterdam ), but everyone’s tastes are different, so you shouldn’t take my word on it!
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Dave
28. Sep, 2009
Actually, when I met a person who’d been on a Chernobyl tour, I thought “very cool, I wanna go hold a geiger counter!”
In regard to Paris, I did find people a bit rude the first time I visited, but that was also the night of the French ultimately winning the ’98 World Cup in their own country (against Brazil) so I’ve forgiven the offenders.
The second time I went, I stayed with a Parisian I met in India, and hung out with her friends, going to a NYE house party. It was a lot of fun, and I appreciated my time there much more.
“I’ll probably make it there eventually but I won’t be bullied into visiting just because everyone else has.” — a good approach
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Steph
28. Sep, 2009
Wow! Lots of comments on this one!
Susan- Prague is another place that suffers from overhype. I was actually pretty underwhelmed by the city when i went (although the fact that is was damp cold November didn’t help). I think if I knew a local that would be a great excuse to visit Paris.
Gray- You’ve got me there! I guess I should say the people are supposed to be unfriendly.
Jason- Another good point, although I would say it works the same in reverse. If I’ve seen the roman ruins spread out over North Africa, Turkey and even England then finally visiting Rome would give the experience an entirely different meaning than hitting it cold. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from travel it’s that everything is related to everything else and there’s no one linear way to tackle it all.
Nancy- Yes Disney is another great example. So many families feel like they “must” go and after spending so much money and effort to arrive there is so much pressure to have a good time. I’ve never seen more crying children than I did at Disney World.
Dave- I do want to go to Chernobyl actually. But I want to go because it sounds like the sort of thing I’d enjoy, not because I want to brag that I’ve been the Chernobyl.
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Laura
07. Oct, 2009
Interesting post, but…
I don’t think prejudices are a good reason not to travel somewhere. You say that people there are unpleasant, yet you’ve never actually been there.
I think the reputation that some Parisians may have is mostly spread by American tourists, who haven’t bothered to learn even a few phrases of French and then are surprised when they are not treated with special attention. Of course this applies to only a fraction of tourists, but unfortunately, some of them don’t respect the customs and the way of life of a foreign country.
On my three visits to Paris, the most unpleasant people have been American tourists, who think nothing of blocking the stairs to the metro or stopping in the middle of a narrow street, or not even saying hello to the tobacconist. They tend to make the most noise and take up more space than everyone else.
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- Kaitlin
  12. Jun, 2010
  I agree with Laura. I spent two and a half weeks in Paris last summer, and found people there to be quite friendly if you at least try to speak some sort of broken French to them. If you go in assuming they know english (event though many do), they won’t take kindly to you, but in many cases even butchering an order at a restaurant in their native tongue would elicit a smile and a short tutorial n pronunciations (especially when the waiter was a twenty-something male). All in all, I loved Paris not just for the touristy landmarks, but for the culture its residents live in daily. The Eiffel Tower was great, and the Louvre amazing, but the simpler pleasures of stopping into a bakery to pick up a baguette, or walking down a cobbled street on a Friday night and suddenly being overtaken by a mob of rollerbladers are the things I would go back for.
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peregrina feminina
20. Oct, 2009
Fun post. I won’t go to a place just to party, but if I happen to find a one, I’ll probably join in. I’ve found that people who travel solely to party tend to be the most irritating travelers I’ve come across! I’m also try to be steadfast about saying no to people who try to steer me towards a place that I HAVE to go to. I think the more you travel, the more you figure out what kind of places you enjoy before you get there. But I have agree with the people who defend Parisians… I never found them to be unfriendly and many people were actually quite helpful.
.-= peregrina feminina´s last blog ..5 Travel Memoirs by Women =-.
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- Steph
  21. Oct, 2009
  Ooph I am getting a lot of flack for that dig at Parisians! While I have heard a lot of complaints about the attitude of the people of Paris I will definitely reserve judgment until I actually get over there!
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Adam
19. Nov, 2009
It’s funny because I’ve been to Europe 5 times, and been to Paris 3 out of those 5 times! I loved it every time.
But I do agree that you don’t have to go somewhere just because it’s in all the guide books. You can find something for someone just about anywhere.
.-= Adam ´s last blog ..Birthdays as Deadlines not Holidays =-.
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Kelsey
06. Feb, 2010
I heartily agree with this post. People keep telling me that I *have* to see Central America. I really am not a hot, humid, jungle-y person, so while it’s somewhere I’d like to see *eventually*, that region isn’t high on my list of travel priorities. Then again, I get a similar reaction from folks when I tell them I want to go to Mongolia and Tajikistan. “Why on earth do you want to go there? There’s nothing there!” Exactly.
.-= Kelsey´s last blog ..One Blog, Two Blogs: To Split or Not To Split? =-.
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- Steph
  06. Feb, 2010
  well *I* want to go to Mongolia so I’m totally with you there. but I hate the idea that I “have to” anything.
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marc
22. Mar, 2010
Paris is not “the fashion place” changing all the time like NYC places to be…
Comparing Paris with “party hot spots” what a joke.
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- Steph
  22. Mar, 2010
  Hi Marc, I’m not saying Paris is a party hot spot or merely fashionable. I’m simply saying that it’s a popular place to visit that I’ve never felt a lot of desire to go to. Personal choice and all that fun stuff.
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Joel
04. Aug, 2010
Ha – nice article. And the points are all very valid, even if some may disagree with your personal examples. For me, that’s how I’ve felt about India – everyone talks about how wonderful it is there, but I’ve just never had the inclination to go there (like you, “someday” but it’s not high on the priority list).
And to add to the Parisian-lovers, I can honestly say it’s my favorite place on the planet. Every corner you turn, the architecture, the gardens, the music, the cafes, the icons jump out at you. I would absolutely stay there for a year if I had the right opportunity. Hell, I could sit on the steps at Sacre Coeur once a week and love it every time. My last couple blog posts (and a couple yet to come) give a few reasons why I love the city.
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- Steph
  04. Aug, 2010
  I’m sure it must have something great going for it the way people rave. I’m sure I’ll mosey on over eventually.
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Katie
04. Aug, 2010
Interesting post. Having been to Paris twice, I concur with some of the other posters that it’s a bit unfair to characterize Parisians as unpleasant. I found if I at least tried a few phrases of French, they responded very warmly.
I have been places though that have completely underwhelmed me while coming highly recommended – Prague for one. Spent 2 days there and really felt like I had gotten my fill and have no big desire to go back. I loved Budapest much more. I also didn’t care for Florence the first time I went, but returned several years later with a better understanding of its art and history and I appreciated it much more the second time around.
I really get bothered when people question the places I do want to visit since most of my wish list now seems to off the beaten track. I recall posting a question about an obscure part of Kazakhstan in an LP forum and getting a reply saying “why on earth would you want to go there, there’s nothing to see.” Grrrr….
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- Steph
  04. Aug, 2010
  Prague was not a favorite of mine either. and I find the Stands to be really intriguing so good luck with that!
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ayngelina
04. Aug, 2010
Funny, Paris is a nice city but it doesn’t rank in my top 10 and if I never go there again I’d be okay with it. I love France but Paris didn’t capture my heart.
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- Steph
  04. Aug, 2010
  excellent, glad to see it’s not a unanimous vote
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alexis
04. Aug, 2010
Crepes with chocolate are probably the only thing I would go to Paris for. I was there for only a day, and I wasn’t much of fan…
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- Steph
  04. Aug, 2010
  Okay crepes MIGHT be what convinces me to give it a shot!
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Michael Tyson
04. Aug, 2010
Well said! I read an article the other day on “The Best UK Campsites”. Two of them sounded like my idea of hell: “Buzzing with party people” and “DJs and bands get the crowd on to the dance floor” gaaah! Give me a quiet, picturesque field in the middle of the countryside and day!
I also take the “you must go to this place” recommendation with a massive grain of sand. I always research these places online and 9 times out of 10 decide they’re either over-rated or just not for me. Surprisingly this even applies to places locals say are a “must visit”! It’s such an amazingly subjective thing.
Once again, excellent post!
P.S. I too did not experience the rude Parisian when I was there.
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- Steph
  04. Aug, 2010
  Yes, people have different tastes and no place is one size fits all. It’s important to know what you’re looking for.
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Mathilde
03. Jun, 2011
In being a Parisian ( well, almost) I should feel offended I guess … But I actually feel the same way as you do !
Parisians just ruin the place. But it is said that it is one of Paris charming parts …. (You may agree or not ^^)
Your blog is on my top 3 model blogs.
I’m a fan of your work !
Keep going on !
Best thoughts
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Lil'Fel Rocks the World
12. Jun, 2011
I’m a vintage, underground, authentic resto sort of girl, but despite my travels around the world, Paris is actually my favourite city ever. You just need to know where to look and hang out to not have the Louvre-Eiffel Tower trajectory as your main path.
Anyways, if you ever make it there, check out my travel guide:
Lil’Fel Rocks the World: Travel Guide for Poor, Hip Students
(ps. i think we have similar blog missions..)
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Tom
16. Jul, 2011
Oooh crowds and jacked up prices make me cranky too haha! Sometimes I wonder, am I really only 24??
All my expat friends in the neighbourhood are off to the Boryeong Mudfest this weekend. The very thought of going on a bus and getting off-my-face drunk from 9am just makes me tired. Throw in a load of mud glooping up my gorilla legs, and I’m already sighing in exasperation.
Sometimes I’ll read posts where everyone has commented, “wow that sounds amazing!” but I’m like, “THAT SOUNDS LIKE HELL.” There was one on another site recently (can’t remember which one, oops) about stowing away on an iron ore train in Mauritania. Everyone was commenting about how fun it sounded – whereas to me, it sounded like living hell.
Great post from the archives!
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Tatiana
26. Jul, 2011
I love Paris, it’s one of my favorite countries. And just like other expensive cities it can be done on a budget. And I’ve only had pleasant experiences with the people.
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Katherine McKeon
17. Nov, 2011
Just reading this now. I love that you have stood up to the travel snobs; the ones who tell you how many passport stamps they have, or remind you that their travels are more unique than yours (‘Well I went to Chernobyl!’). Travelling is about your experience in a place as much as it is about the place, itself.
Thanks for pointing out how stupid it is to let street cred influence where you go.
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Andrea
15. Dec, 2011
Hi Steph,
if you ever do make it to Paris some day, I will be happy to show you around, take you to the nice places where people can be friendly (nowhere near the Eiffel tower…).
Great blog you have going here, found it thanks to a post from Paul @ CarpeDM in Quito (he and I were running buddies when I lived in Quito).
Happy travels
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- Steph
  22. Dec, 2011
  Thanks so much! Glad you discovered me.
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How NOT to Decide Where You Want to Travel; or Why I’ve Never Been to Paris

35 Responses to “How NOT to Decide Where You Want to Travel; or Why I’ve Never Been to Paris”

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