Fantasy Vacations for the Fiction Fiend

Written by Steph

Several months ago the sassy ladies att Jezebel wrote a tongue in cheek post about literary travel vacations they’d like to take:

The Genuine Crime and Punishment Experience: Learn to swing an axe in a 6 X 6′ room! Spend one week doing penal servitude in Siberia! Price includes one wooden cross, unlimited time for mental anguish, soul-searching, and the ultimate rejection of nihilism.

As the only thing I’m more passionate about than travel is probably reading, I though I’d brainstorm some literary retreats I would like send myself on:

Creative Commons License photo credit: David Paul Ohmer

Louis and Lestat’s New Orleans Bed & Breakfast- None of this Twilight or True Blood nonsense here. For the true vamp-ophileonly a weekend at this opulently furnished yet chillingly empty in, will do. Run by two of the hunkiest vampires in literary history (I always hoped those two would get back together and settle down) the establishment features nightly stalking tours of the French Quarter, brilliant parties and a “unique” cuisine. You’ll want to stay forever!

Bokonism spiritual retreat on San Lorenzo Island - The sunny yet impoverished carribean island of San Lorenzo is the perfect spot to escape the pressures of daily life by studying the untruths of Bokonon. Come with a granfalloon of your closest friends and impress the folks at home by memorizing a few choice calypsos. Don’t forget to take home you very own monogrammed thermos of Ice-9!

Creative Commons License photo credit: gadl

The Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory Behind the Scenes Experience- for the “foodie” in your life, a connoisseur’s into the sweet world of candy making. The tour, led by Will Wonka, CEO, includes a peaceful float down the chocolate river, a chance to observe the rare Oompa Loompa’s in their natural habitat and a return to the feeling of childish wonder (not recommended for small or greedy children; please do not touch the Oompa Loompas; Willy Wonka Inc. not liable for any injury up to and including, death dismemberment or blueberrying).

Yes, I am a big nerd. Shuttup.

What is your Fictional Fantasy Vacation?